I’m a driver and I agree 100%. I’ve been in situations no self driving truck could handle. Going up onto sidewalks, blocking 2 lanes of traffic, going the wrong way on a one way street. I once had to call the police and get a car towed that was blocking the loading dock. How is a driverless truck supposed to handle…

My girlfriend has a Boston that won’t let anyone but her pet him. He decided one day I am his BFF and he will follow me around my apartment, but only his mommy can touch him. He used to love attention and would let anyone pet him. Since he had Lyme disease no one can pet him. He will very rarely let a stranger pet…

What’s a Cheechako?

More like this

No, you have to tell him. It’s the same thing as when you ask “Are you a cop?” They have to tell you if they really are a cop.

So mom and dad, you’ve never told me how you met.

Southern US: tar

What are you talking about? The man is a fucking Adonis. I mean this picture is obviously photoshoped. Probably by Obama.

Next on the agenda: fire up the smelters at Bethlehem Steel. Bring those steel jobs back.

I was in Mayfair Market on Franklin Ave in Hollywood and Fiona Apple checked me out big time. This was probably around 1995.

The “it’s my first day”

She’s 19 years old. She’s not a child.

Dear Eric,

I wish I could tweet more than 140 characters.

I get it. Because they weren’t actually related and weren’t really named Ramone.

Look at little Jared. So happy to be grabbing that ass.

“What do we want?”

The best name for a Confederate soldier was CSA Major General Bushrod Johnson. Bushrod. The man’s parents named him Bushrod. And my great great grandfather fought for the Union. 23rd Pennsylvania infantry and 1st New Jersey cavalry.

Trump: “Hey, thanks for the compliment. What team did you say you play for?”

I think I’ve heard my mother use a four letter word once. She doesn’t use the word hate. She feels hate is too strong a word and should be used very sparingly.