A friend of mine is a sports writer. Another friend is 6-foot-5 and cannot dunk. Friend No. 1 saw Dominique Wilkins at a game somewhere and caught up with him afterward, asking to interview him for a web feature, just one question. OK, says the Human Highlight Reel, shoot. Friend No. 1 stops, frames up ‘Nique in the…

I’m confused. How is farm-raised anything bad for sustainability?

I’m gonna be honest... it’s really hard to feel bad that the guys playing video games for a living don’t get a summer vacation.

Your problem is you’re never going to be able to savor the last time you masturbate.

I hear they are leaning the opposite way and looking at Steve Alchevy.

Fully cook the ground beef without the onions, peppers, or any seasoning? Might as well just go with the hotdog chunks.

I like Katie, but suspect I would not like her as much if it was five times as often.

Rest in Pizza-Pizza

Final Fight was my favorite

Housing where is not affordable? In the cities? Because If you go into the suburbs or god forbid smaller towns housing is totally affordable. I know a number of people in their mid 20's and 30's buying houses no problem. You know where they are buying them? Not manhattan or LA. That is just dumb.

3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, big dining room, big kitchen, bonus room/man cave, big back yard, 2 car garage, 14 hours from NYC. $1100 month mortgage.

My nephew’s name is Jaxson, and I hate every part of it. (We’re black.)

that joke is SODAmn dumb

If they had thrown a soda can instead of beer, would it have counted as a pop fly?

yours

A basement full of storms.

Sigh, I picked a wonderful day to wear my Mets shirt to work

Sounds like he thought he was Reuben Hood.

They also misspelled Vast Ocean of Pig Shit West of kansas City.

There's no way West Virginians would be able to name another state.