Sometimes when you've got nothing you just have to go for the Heil Mary.

Perhaps you shouldn't spread it on so thick.

Maybe so, but everyone seems to want to turn the world upside-down over it.

Chess is that game where there's violence on both sides, but the white pieces are better.

The alt-right is fake non-Nazis.

Actually, I'm pretty sure The Music Man was written by Samantha Bee: http://samanthabee.com/epis…

It's to be expected that there may be some dilution when you have to apply the strongest possible terms to many sides.

When life gives you sharks, America makes sharknadoes.

Some comedians use comedy to work through personal issues (oddly enough, this appeared to be the theme on the most recent broadcast of CNN's The History of Comedy). I didn't hear this particular bit of Hardwick's, but on his last tour, Patton Oswalt had an absolute crusher of a joke about his wife's untimely death,…

I give the nod to the (original) MST3K reunion episode.

I may actually still have the episode where Tom Lennon finally cracks his losing streak on my DVR. The best part was the celebratory callback to the cold open, in which everybody does, in fact, kimchee.

If @midnight had anything whatsoever to do with getting the greenlight for Not Safe with Nikki Glaser (may it rest in peace alongside @midnight), we all owe it a debt of gratitude.

THAT'S WHAT NERDS DO.

I interpret the vitriol directed at Hardwick in these comments to be coming from people who a) assume they are waaaaay funnier than he is and b) are fucking pissed off that he gets paid money to do what he does.

Milana Vayntrub (who I didn't even realize was the AT&T spokesperson) absolutely killed on their Similar to But Legally Distinct From Olympics show.

Comedians who I've gone to see live as a direct result of @midnight: Nate Bargatze, Matt Braunger, Jen Kirkman, Aparna Nancherla. (Wishlist: Emily Heller, Tom Lennon, Paul F. Tompkins). Ron Funches would have been on that list, but the one time he was scheduled to play in my area was cancelled without being…

Liberal Penis-Nose is my Joe Scarborough cover band.

What you refer to as whining is simply the President attempting to pronounce "China".

Shartnado.

It's not that bad. Dill with it.