Obviously there is a ton of bias here by another Deadspin writer.

Romulans might not be too happy we broke the Treaty of Algeron.

Agreed, but this approach is not in the Arenaball doctrine which dictates that there only ever be 2 central midfield players and no more than 2. These 2 will be encouraged to kick the ball up the field as far as possible. If that is not an option, they are to play back to a central defender who will then proceed to…

that’s the baby’s home. you stay outta there, you had your turn

Yes, having a pregnant/lactation fetish is weird. Argue with me all you want about not judging people for what they crank off to, but it’s just god damn weird. That’s a god damn baby in that woman, and you’re INTO IT. And that’s the baby’s milk, not your milk, get your mouth off those udders. Keep it to cows.

The only thing that could make this more Russell Westbrook level petty would be if he signed this on Durant’s birthday.

As the medical team worked on the fallen player, making sure he wasn’t dead yet, did you notice all the players kneeling on the field? Those sons-of-bitches, they should be fired!

I’d watch what I say about Barkley. You know what he’s capable of...

The only statue in Baltimore that could use more protection is Joe Flacco.

Listen, Boltman, if I’ve gotta schlep around a clear plastic purse that puts my tampons on full public display for god and country and the sweet baby Jesus to see, it’s entirely reasonable for them to ask you to take off for a few minutes the mask that completely conceals who you are.

Boltman is thrusting in the direction of the problem!

sports fans provide a very compelling reason for us to ban all sports.

What happens if someone doesn’t show ‘total respect’?

It seems like 75% of the problem is that people are of the view that only Puerto Ricans can be advocates for Puerto Rico.

It was worth while, if only because it illustrates this point.

If walking the Bundesliga, winning the World Cup, and consolidating his place as the world’s very best goalkeeper weren’t enough to win Manuel Neuer the Ballon d’Or in 2014, when he finished third in the voting, then maybe atrocious blunders like this one today by Sven Ulreich, Bayern’s No. 2 keeper who’s played all…

Why do you insist on writing like a 12-year-old who has just discovered compound-complex sentences?

Sir, this is a Wendy’s drive-thru.

It is kind of stupid that 6 teams play at once.

#TomBradyThinks Christopher Reeve really just needed an organic, vegan diet.