Me: *clicks on headline*
Me: *Ctrl-F*
Me: *searches father’s name*
Me: *searches father’s email address*
Me: *breathes a small sigh of relief*

And the very next part, too:

“We found fecal matter in the victim’s ear canal.”

-- Ice-T

DING DING DING

Someone read a piece from a Wagner opera.

In response, the NCGOP has released an official statement:

It’s the Battle of Norman’s D all over again