omh hahaha no staaahp yer trahmutizin meh.

I feel like his hand is probably the size of my whole face and would be able to wipe away both tears and years of trauma with just one thumb and that gentle voice. I just want him to tuck me into bed and tell me tomorrow will be better, goddamnit.

The real question is...did it taste good?

RECIPES, please.

What is life without art?
Merely surviving is not living.
Well worth it, I say.

I work on a bar and I’ve had middle-aged men call me “honey” “Sweetie” whatever...the dudes said it in a manner that was so condescending it made me want to wretch. I’ve had dudes touch my lower back to get by my in the store when they had ALL the room in the world to go around me. BLECH.

But this sweet old lady with…

 tiFor the first time in my life, I love my job. I went from a shitty warehouse job working customer service in a windowless office for 5 years (and hating every minute of my life even when I WASN’T working, that’s how miserable that job made me) to finding a career within a field I had never EVER considered for…

HAHAHA this is so great. That is a Puss in Boots look at the bottom there....

My girl is SO CHATTY, she usually chirps like a little bird but will often let out a scream-like “me-AHHH” when she’s hungry, or two short “ER-ER” [like “nuh-uh”] when she wants to be left alone. She talks ALL. FUCKING. DAY. I’ve never had a cat before her so I thought something was wrong....turns out she’s just a chat…

There is nothing fucked up about this beautiful, resting bitch face.

oh man, could you come back and tell us how it went? That sounds so lovely! The best lies are these kinds :)

Listen, if someone wants to take my Debit card information and mine it for the whole -500 in it, be my guest.

you’re a treasure.

take your star and gtfo

Beautifully put, Karl’s kuntyness aside.

I eat the outside of Chicken Nuggets first, then the inside. Never bite into one altogether. Nibble the edges, peel off the sides.

Just a weird thing I’ve done since I was a wee one.

There’s a bar in Toronto called Crocodile Rock, and when it’s closing time they BLAST the Elton John song and put these horrible house lights on and there is NO WAY anyone would stay past that hahaha

I like this option much better. As a photographer and graphic designer, these websites kinda tick me off.

He looks like if Terry Richardson got hit with an Abercrombie stick.