Stealing ‘Christ Trash’ thanks

The only thing you shouldn’t skimp on in derby the first time around? HELMET. If there’s something you should always get the best of, it’s that.

I once asked my boss “Hey, need a hand!?” while he was loading something into his truck.

He has one arm. I turned red, he turned to look at me. We locked eyes for a moment then I scurried off to the bathroom where I sat in mortified silence for a few moments.

My best friend wanted something in Elvish (HUGE LOTR dork, like, life-encompassing love) and she refuses until she can be 1050% certain it is correct. I told her a) probably the only person who can be 1050% certain is Tolkien himself and...well..... and b) NO ONE will know otherwise.

But alas. If only people would put…

A good friend of mine who was adopted from China as a baby once picked up an item in a store and read the tag on the bottom “Made in China”....she smiled, looked up at us and said “Like meeeeeeee!”

My friend, look up a Facebook group called “That’s It I’m Nail Shaming”. You will see things that will be burned into your psyche for the remainder of your days on earth.

and yet he looks so cute and friendly. Fluffy Forrest Doggo.

Right! I like to look at it as....we’re always going to have media presented to us. Ads and marketing are not going away. SO.....if I’m forced to see it every day, I’d rather look at this. It’s a step in changing the game, so I am all for it yeh? Sincerity has little place in marketing, so this is the next best thing.

so THAT’S where that chicken ball I dropped and my cat rolled under my oven went.

How are you finding the doc? I just watched the first episode with my partner and if I’m honest, I’d much rather continue the series than see this stupid Efron glorification.

The trailer looked like an action film with a lead that could have easily been played by Jason Statham. I’m not one for monetizing off of horrendous stories such as his, but fuck, if I didn’t know about Bundy I would not have the reaction to this film that I should have.

Queer Eye for the KonMari Life

there was music?!

When I was a kid, I was eating a chewy chocolate bar with a loose tooth.

There’s money from the tooth fairy I never saw.

what kind of dicks are you sucking

The amount of boys who have told me this is infuriatingly astronomical. Straight girls hear this all the GD time, it’s ridiculous! I’m glad you knew he was a nut job (no pun intended) and got outta there lmfao
I’ve also been told that it whitens your teeth and is good for your hair. All excuses for dudes to come on you…

One of the first videos is literally a girl critiquing a vulva.

I read that too fast and my brain took it as “pictures of salad can snowball into rabbit oversharing” and thought....hmm yes makes sense