oh my god, for a moment I imagined human skin on a cuppa and I almost hurked all over my keyboard.

Still gross, but not human skin gross.

tThe worst pain I’ve personally ever felt was when I was 17 and had meningitis. I couldn’t move my head as my neck was so stiff and painful, my whole body felt it was on fire. I had a temp of 106, so my brain was pretty close to being right fucked forever. Then on top of it all, a spinal tap. I was in the throes of a…

There must be, like the universe with only shrimp.

Any vibrations for an extended amount of time is bad for any wine, bubbles or no.

I’m staring down a 32K monster right now and it’s feeling pretty hopeless...any tips on staying the course and not wanting to fling yourself into the ocean?

I really liked I Feel Pretty. The fact that they didn’t switch between her ‘real life’ and ‘fantasy head trauma’ body, as they do in Shallow Hal (Jack Black’s Skinny Paltrow vs everyone elses Fat Paltrow for gag jokes). The arms she hated before, she looked at them and loved them. The face she picked over in the…

I cannot for the life of my keep my car clean. It’s such a struggle, though my intentions are always good

My mom and I have a ‘crap basket’ where all the things that don’t belong on the first floor go, so eventually it’ll be brought back up to their proper place. It’s better than the ugly SPREAD that happens with clutter!

I’m so glad I’m not the only person who is bothered by this too! LED christmaslights, LED lightbulbs, LED candles, LED car headlights....they make me nauseous and give me the worst headache. I can’t stand it, it makes going into public almost unbearable sometimes.

Same to you, cheers friend.

Hello fellow industry friend, I work in Niagara wine country.

The one thing I’ll say about American visitors...they tip the best, the most often, and will ask if they’re allowed to because some places (run by demons) have told them they’re not allowed to take tips.

oh fuck, you’d hate Iceland then. Travelled with a group of Canadians who were all SUPER smiley and overjoyed to greet our host families and though they were wonderful and lovely people, we recieved NO smiles or laughs or warm greetings. It just isn’t a thing in some cultures.

She doesn’t even have enough spices to necessitate an entire rack.

Not old enough to drink, but old enough to drive drunk Mommy home. I hope you took advantage of that

My wonderful soulmate, friend and teacher, my grandmother, passed this summer and this will be the first holiday without her. I’m still waiting for someone to come out and tell me that it’s all a pratical joke, because my brain just can’t comprehend that she’s actually gone. It’s just not true, because it can’t be.

I’m…

fucking thank you.

Listen. I am the first person to call our problematic shit.

But this song just doesn’t strike me that way. People take lines out of context that, YAH sound creepy. But the entire thing makes me feel like a woman who is playing with the idea of being naughty and staying over at her gentleman suitor’s house. For every…

so grab your dick and double click!

BUGS BUGS BUGSBUGSBUGSBUGS...EVERYBOODDDYYY

I’m glad I’m not the only one who ‘got’ her Tweet as funny.