oh man, could you come back and tell us how it went? That sounds so lovely! The best lies are these kinds :)

Listen, if someone wants to take my Debit card information and mine it for the whole -500 in it, be my guest.

you’re a treasure.

take your star and gtfo

Beautifully put, Karl’s kuntyness aside.

I eat the outside of Chicken Nuggets first, then the inside. Never bite into one altogether. Nibble the edges, peel off the sides.

Just a weird thing I’ve done since I was a wee one.

There’s a bar in Toronto called Crocodile Rock, and when it’s closing time they BLAST the Elton John song and put these horrible house lights on and there is NO WAY anyone would stay past that hahaha

I like this option much better. As a photographer and graphic designer, these websites kinda tick me off.

He looks like if Terry Richardson got hit with an Abercrombie stick.

Stealing ‘Christ Trash’ thanks

The only thing you shouldn’t skimp on in derby the first time around? HELMET. If there’s something you should always get the best of, it’s that.

I once asked my boss “Hey, need a hand!?” while he was loading something into his truck.

He has one arm. I turned red, he turned to look at me. We locked eyes for a moment then I scurried off to the bathroom where I sat in mortified silence for a few moments.

My best friend wanted something in Elvish (HUGE LOTR dork, like, life-encompassing love) and she refuses until she can be 1050% certain it is correct. I told her a) probably the only person who can be 1050% certain is Tolkien himself and...well..... and b) NO ONE will know otherwise.

But alas. If only people would put…

A good friend of mine who was adopted from China as a baby once picked up an item in a store and read the tag on the bottom “Made in China”....she smiled, looked up at us and said “Like meeeeeeee!”

My friend, look up a Facebook group called “That’s It I’m Nail Shaming”. You will see things that will be burned into your psyche for the remainder of your days on earth.

and yet he looks so cute and friendly. Fluffy Forrest Doggo.

Right! I like to look at it as....we’re always going to have media presented to us. Ads and marketing are not going away. SO.....if I’m forced to see it every day, I’d rather look at this. It’s a step in changing the game, so I am all for it yeh? Sincerity has little place in marketing, so this is the next best thing.

so THAT’S where that chicken ball I dropped and my cat rolled under my oven went.