So it’s fashionable to dress clownishly, like a pimp?

Bemused means confused. What are you confused about?

Cats are all that keep me human.

Ava DuVernay can’t be there? Is she undergoing yet another another medical procedure to suck the fat from her head? Why they don’t dispose of the fat as hazardous waste instead of redistributing it to her lower body?

Should a paragraph get a Pulitzer if it misspells nigger?

As a parody of her existence.

Is that Doris Burke or Beth Mowins ruining the Miami game with the play-by-play? Has to be one or the other because they both have problems with words beginning with the letter S. As in, “Suck pussy.”   

Is the Alabama football player majoring in African-American Studies or Communications?

Never studied or cared much about the HOF debate. But the Hall was definitely broken (nay, shattered) when Jim Rice was voted in. In the wake of the PED era, the voters were just looking for any old player who’d hit a lot of untainted home runs. Pete Palmer’s Adjusted Batting Wins is the best objective hitting…

And yet this doesn’t even appear in the headlines of Google News search. I wonder why?

More importantly, Villanueva handed the ball to the ref. With huge, specialized coaching staffs, how soon before some team hires an End Zone Celebration Coach? Will the NFL Combine ever start testing players on their celebration dances? Hey, I know, that could replace the Wonderlic test.

Why doesn’t somebody get on Gus Johnson over his voice? Specifically, how he overhypes almost every play. You’d think a 5-yard gain was as exciting as that Titans player coming up one yard short in the Super Bowl. I had the game barely audible yet it was still annoying. All current play-by-play men seem to suffer from…

Your metaphor is a bad swing and miss. Do some baseballs have bigger dicks than other baseballs?

Hey, good comment. I became a Sox fan in ‘67 because my grandfather taught at a school Petrocelli attended in Brooklyn. And I couldn’t hate those Yankee teams of the mid-to-late 90s. Tino, O’Neill, Gooden, Wells, Rivera, Posada. Plus Brosius, Spencer and other regular Joes like Girardi & Brooklyn’s own Torre. Maybe…

Do porn stars suffer from cauliflower dick?

“Why you hittin’ her? She can’t do it, she can’t do that, her hands underneath her, the fuck you hittin’ her for?” ... “I am hitting her because of poor grammar, particularly the lack of using verbs.”

Punk.

Anybody notice the Patriots fan spraying Hill with some beer?

Do you think Lena Dunham should have gotten tattoos that look more like what’s below? Of course, she makes up for it with her beautiful face and, most importantly, her brilliant mind.

The guy who called Rodgers “Butthole Eyes” was wrong. Study his raccoon eyes in detail. Upon close inspection, his discoloration seems to be caused by eyelids engorged to the size of labia minora. Which explains Joe Buck’s lust for Ol’ Pussy Lips.