Shouldn’t rankings of all of the poser David Bowie’s albums begin with a negative number?

I had a Vietnamese friend in high school named Phuc Yu.

This just shows how much NASA has progressed in retouching photos.

Shouldn’t the black actors and actresses of ‘Annie’ be vilified for cultural appropriation?

Is she going for the Nicole Kidman vampire look?

I’ll allow Europeans to use the term “cinema”. But when a pretentious American does I want to ask, “So are slasher movies your favorite genre of cinema?”

Bezos, like a lot of bald guys, looks like a dick with ears. ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt also comes to mind.

Why does Lorde look like Serbian bar-fly in her mid-forties?

At least Apatow’s wife isn’t in this one.

Why did Marcia, Jan & Cindy dishonor their dead father by taking the name Brady? And why didn’t the kids ever come down to breakfast in their underwear, hair askew, scratching themselves, one of them ripping a loud fart?

There’d be only one reason you’d want to hear a new Pearl Jam album. To find out if Eddie Vedder’s annoying voice still sounds exactly like that of the guy from Hootie & the Blowfish.

Your movie has failed if you have to use voice-over. So I see that Scorcese, the second-worst director of my lifetime, is using voice-over again. You should have pressed Schoonmaker on Scorcese’s ridiculous use of songs. Do you think they were loud enough in ‘Mean Streets’? Could they have been more inappropriate in…

There was a line in The Guinness Book of World Records back in the 1970s that Pulos and I noticed. It was an extremely odd, nonsensical line. Re: the miserly rich woman Hetty Green, the McWhirter brothers wrote something like: she ate oatmeal cold for breakfast every morning because she was too mean to heat it. Your…

I’m glad Whitey Houston got in because she was what rock ‘n’ roll is all about. Loud, rough, sloppy, gut-bucket. Whitey Houston rocks, man.

Latinx is the most ridiculous of all attempts at gender-neutral language. All nouns in Spanish are either masculine (most ending with o) or feminine (most ending with a). Besides, Latinx sounds like something you blow snot into.

The worst thing on the internet is me

I’ll allow Europeans to use “cinema” instead of movies. But when a pompous American uses the term, I want to ask if they refer to one movie genre as “slasher cinema”.

I was already barely watching football when I cut the cable tv cord over two years ago. So I’ve only seen highlight snippets of MNF. But I’m stunned by the over-hype Tessitore puts into his calls. Three plays into the game, a nine-yard gain, and Tessitore calls it like Altuve’s walk-off homer against the Yankees.…

Does Batman ever dread getting into his Bat-costume and think: I’m getting too old for this shit?

Does Adam Silver’s penis look just like Adam Silver except with a slit at the top?