“But I had to go to the bathroom. I’m sorry if that makes me a bad guy.”

It’s just comical at this point. It’s been pretty clear what’s happening for a while now, but this season blew it wide open. Hopefully he wins his lawsuit. Honestly, though, I’m not sure how they would actually prove it. If Mahomes knelt next week, mysteriously got cut, then got replaces with Peterman himself, it…

I say this with only a very small bit of hyperbole, but, Michelle 2020.

“Are the kids still twisting these days? Damn near brought down Western Civilization with the twist. And don’t get me started on the mash potato. Now give me my rubles and coal money.” - Mitch McConnell

KFC and cologne : (

The subtlety is key. Poised, yet salty af. Yes Michelle. Serve. 

I once made the mistake of telling a classroom that I hate that fucking dance and now when I see any of them in the halls they all immediately stop what they’re doing and start flossing. I live in a hell of my own making.

no need to.

I don’t get it. I played for 10 years up to college and there isn’t a chance in hell my two boys are playing football. I wake up everyday with aches and pains that my peers who didn’t play don’t have; I’ve herniated a disc in my neck getting out of FUCKING bed; my knees are shot and my back will seize up for no…

It took me a few seconds of confusion to realize THERE ARE TWO GRUDENS HEAD COACHING IN THE NFL RIGHT NOW, AND THE REDSKINS COACH IS THE LESS EMBARRASSING OF THE TWO.

Was Jared Lorenzen not available?

If only there were a man, a man of strong principles, a man who has taken to kneeling to show the world the strength of his beliefs, a man who just so happens to be a professional quarterback. That man exists, and unfortunately for us, he has answered a higher calling.

...which is also a Fortnite dance.

I don't. I legitimately do not remember Josh Johnson.

Johnson presumably had the leg up for this spot by virtue of having been originally drafted by Washington team president Bruce Allen

HMMMMMMM ....If only there were a player out there that’s currently unsigned who would keep them in contention for a playoff spot and be a vast improvement over 99% of the backup QBs in the league right now.  It’s just such a shame that no such player is available.  I’m talking, of course, about Nathan Peterman