Im-Peach Mint Fuck Trump sounds pretty good to my ear.

It’s optimistic to even call it an assumption.

Suggestions for Ben & Jerry: Mint Chocolate Fuck Trump. Cherry Fuck Trump. Salted Caramel Fuck Trump. Cookie Dough Fuck Trump. 

Nah, husky. Seattle is bounded by water. Cross Lake Union or the canals and you’re lost to the white walkers. True story.

And 173 for the game. Without hitting a single 3-pointer. That box score is fucking nuts.

That should be the official Warriors 2018 motto. Don’t even be subtle, just leave “Generals” on the scoreboard for all visiting teams.

Yeah, his “genuine question” wasn’t, was it? Ah well. Mea culpa for pulling him out of the greys and setting up his taek.

Buck has achieved the impossible: He’s annoying me worse than Smoltz.

Baseball’s old. The tight scheduling dates to when pitchers threw a lot less hard and a lot more often, and when transportation was a much bigger concern. They’d bus/train into a city, play three or four games over the weekend, then on to the next stop. No room for extra days off.

Or a baseball-sized rock.

Well, they have Sarah Huckasanders, but she’s already overdue for replacement.

Spiders have lots of eyes, Cheese. It’s a weakness- they get mesmerized by all that booty and you can kill them while they stare.

C’mon, Chris, didn’t you ever play in the park? “No canning the center” is like the second rule after the number of Mississippis gets settled.

Multiple things can be true. Lance had a good game- not his first this year!- and also that is a hilarious sequence of basketball.

Hell, I’m a lifelong Lakers fan and I feel robbed of that reality too. I’m not even sure they’d have made it to opening day before one of them was in the hospital and one was in handcuffs.

New Orleans got screwed in that deal- Dragic’s been worth more by WS and VORP than every other player involved or potentially involved combined-  the Lakers got screwed, and Demps definitely got screwed.

Damn it, I’m getting traded, aren’t I? Just tell me it’s not to Barstool.

Hey, Jon. Welcome to Deadspin. There’s some aloe on Petchesky’s desk, you should use it.

“inaccurate take”, says the person naming Hillary the least desirable candidate on a list that includes Strom Thurmond, Ross Perot, Walter Burgwyn Jones, Harry F. Bird, Gerald Ford, Bob Dole, Herbert Hoover, and some guy named Trump.

They’re disingenuous, I suspect. Although one should never rule out catastrophic stupidity.