I was going to give you a star for a nice sarcastic take, then I read the next followup and realized you are serious.

Majors are only good when Tiger is contending

Majors are always better when Tiger is contending. 

Is it wrong of me to get nervous any time I see a South American with a German-sounding name?

I just wish team-videogame broadcasts kept the camera pulled back more often. We don't watch football or basketball on 90% single-player-zoom camera. We have a pulled out view where we can see the big picture, with cut ins and replays as needed. This drives me most crazy with Splatoon 2 coverage. The game's half about…

Let me know when any of my FCA employees can do anything impressive and I’ll pay them accordingly.

Uhm Robinho?

Let me give you a list off the top of my head of promising players that destroyed or nearly destroyed their careers by transferring to Man City:

Contact might not be new, but we can all appreciate Neymar’s “four-barrel-rolls plus 30-seconds-wriggling-like-a-caught-salmon” addition to the diving game. Until Neymar, we’d get the occasional random ankle- or -calf grab, a theatrical arm-throw every now and then, and so on.  Neymar really pushed the diving game to…

There is, indeed, lots of diving in soccer. Why does it hurt your feelings that Neymar gets made fun of for being by FAR, by further than far, the worst offender among the world’s elite players in terms of looking like a complete and total jackass while doing it?  No one is saying Neymar doesn’t get fouled.  No one is…

“Okay you’re running, running, running and the defender says that your great grandparents were complicit during the holocaust when the Nazis pillaged from the jews.”

Is just throwing this in without any justification peak Billy?

I disagree that this is news. I support investigative journalism where it matters. But this is just creepy- snooping on a handwritten note because god forbid a coach didn’t conceal it from any and all prying eyes at all times for a game? And it’s an English reporter- it’s not a ‘rival’ being cheeky or having fun with…

Grayson Allen was about the most Utah pick they could have possibly made. He is inextricably “scrappy” and “white.”

I really love this game. It’s not perfect as far as games go, but there is something to be said for logging in, choosing a solo sloop, and just relaxing on the open ocean. The ship, and water animations are just stunning. Do I wish there was more to do? Of course! Nor am I a huge fan of the need to find an extra…

It wouldn’t be a Billy Haisley column without a superfluous dig at American soccer fans/players/teams.

I was with you until this nonsense:

Regardless of your analysis, they wouldn’t have spent billions making St. Petersburg and Moscow the cleanest looking cities in Europe in the past two years if their end goal is to have ultras attack tourists. Sure he probably likes violent nationalists, but not when he is trying to make Russia look clean, gentile, and…

Nobody grows up dreaming about becoming a fullback. Fullback is the least influential outfield position, is the easiest position to pick up without knowing much about it, and generally is where the least skilled players on any given team can be found.

Messi even evades taxes better than Ronaldo.