Good thing absolutely no girls were present. Otherwise we’d have to refer to them as “college students”.

Did it crash into the Mediterranean? No? Good deal.

Before I put my tacos in, I like to lick the inside of the egg carton after I take the eggs out. Delish.

I signed a pre-nup. I got a lump sum of $85,000 after being married for 5 years to a guy that repeatedly cheated on me. He runs an $800 million hedge fund and makes over $30 million a year.

Disgusting. No one is going to shame me or my daughters for being fat or for having diabetes. We are big and beautiful!

Or maybe just don’t let people film you while you’re smoking weed if millions of dollars depend on it. But YMMV.

Ugh. White people are the WORST!

Or maybe just don’t have unprotected gay sex.

Thank you for this! There really needs to be a list of all the people that make these awful tweets. There have to be consequences.

I’m going to propose this to my fiancee. If he things it’s a great idea, I’m going to call of the wedding.

“Depraved” is in quotes but not “slurs”?

When will Gawker start trying to sell us all on pedophilia?

My boyfriend says that no matter how hard you girls try, Craig is not going to fuck any of you.

Agree! If he can keep that K/9 rate up for 15 or so more seasons it will definitely rank him among the all time greats...

Smart move. He’ll get a ton of love on Deadspin going forward.

Way to capture the penultimate moment for posterity.

Proactive Anality is my porn name.

I refuse to pay less than $10 for a cup of coffee. Can I still go?

Shocking. After listening to that it leads me to believe that the there is no gap.

How does H.R. 347 fit into all of this?