Thanks for asking. I just do these for friends and colleagues. But maybe The Takeout should offer these for Chicago visitors!

I thought the appropriate way was to have the dumpling grow up, resent you, and start dating a white girl, then you eat the entire dumpling in one bite.

I find this article available.

I hope every restaurant in town figures out who this was. May you spend your evenings eating a peanut butter sandwich over the sink.

He acknowledged it and said it made him feel unwelcome, so it definitely worked.

That’s the comment of someone who knows that General Kelly is halfway out the door, has no power and can do nothing about being thrown under the bus. 

“All right maggots, fall out to the chow hall and get your choice of eggs Benedict drizzled with a delightful Hollandaise Sauce or Bleu Cheese quiche with a whole grain crust, accompanied by thick cut pepper bacon and a selection of fresh fruit, ON THE DOUBLE!!!! And don’t even think about having more than two mimosas…

1. Fuck his hungry racist ass

Hey Democrats, the reason she won is she energized non-voters to come out and vote for her with fantastic, modern ideas. Your oh so careful polling missed this because you do not bother to poll the people who made the difference in her primary win.

claiming the skit had not been in the competition’s script and had not been authorized by the board

The world did Sean Young so so wrong. When do we fix that, MeToo? And how?

He was like that bad boy uncle, the black sheep that would turn up at family gatherings on his motorbike and would sneak you your first taste of beer.

He showed that adventure is still possible in so many ways.

Once again I find myself wishing I weren’t so limited by my ethics, because if I wasn’t I’d make so much money off all the stupid people out there.

Like this?

Emmitt Smith: So that’s why they call it an “oldbitchuary.”

but the 1,000 fans planning to attend the event deserve better.