My first thoughts, too. I have scheduled some time this afternoon to find videos of exact happenings.

Clearly you are not familiar with the actual greatest Jalopnik shirt of all time.

My readers love the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet because of what it represents: one large, multi-national corporation’s struggle to lose money in a world filled with profit and opportunity.

ftfy. pfffft... Typical Gizmodo.

Humans? You mean Americans, right? That’s pretty offensive to humans.

As an American, I must point out that it’s us that are terrible, not humans universally.

HitchBOT has been around the world, including trips across the entirety of Canada and Germany without major incident.

Of course it was Philly. Can we disown that city?

Pro tip- removing the exhaust fixes the radio problem.

James Bond buys new cars, unlike the rest of you cheapskates.

Alfredo continued:

I wish i had a few million dollars sitting around so I could buy Jalopnik from Gawker and end this shit show. We’d never have to read a Jezebel headline about periods, or micro-penises, or finding poop on your thong, or what disney characters’ dicks would look like ever again.

Patrick - thanks for keeping the content coming today. I think your readers understand that the issues facing the GM sites right now are complex and challenging, but I wanted you to know that your effort has been obvious and it shows an incredible level of professionalism and respect for your audience.

Could you have found a creepier picture?

roughly the same amount of alloy wheel curb rash as a sorority girl’s 328i

A story of how Mr. DeMuro found free long-term parking near the Philadelphia airport.

The correct (American) answer: a used mid-size or half-ton pickup. Get 4wd if snow is a concern.

As the unfortunate owner of a Compass, enjoy the pile of crap that is the Patriot if you actually buy one. I hope you like replacing alternators that are damn near impossible to get to.

Give me polarizing and “ugly” over boring like everything else. We need more stylists trying weird shit. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯