I was once stuck in an elevator in Italy for 2 hours. It was not too terrible, there was a small crack in the door that I asked for help through, though I don’t think the two little old ladies who stopped outside it knew what I was saying. It was also just big enough for my best friend to slide an issue of Cosmo and a…

but then you get to be a hero!

are you afraid she’s going to give birth spontaneously or that you’ll fuck up the fetus by accidentally swearing?

I read somewhere they were Dolce and $8000 if that makes you feel any worse.

jayzus she is beautiful.

Also I think I need those headphones.

It was pretty good at about 1/3 of the way in

your responses are all rather measured and level-headed, even if they are snarky, so I’ve never gotten the bitch vibe that most people tend to bring to their comments.

My sister is Kristin and I call her Kris. Her co-worker said “Can I call you Kris?” and she told her she’d prefer that she not, because only her family and close friends call her Kris, and outside of that she really doesn’t like it.

Her co-worker shrugged and started calling her Kris anyways. Annoying.

BMI is bullshit.

PEOPLE THEY COME TOGETHER, PEOPLE THEY FALL APART
NO ON CAN STOP US NOWWWW

I frickin LOVE that bodytype.

Just remember...no matter what body someone has, there is someone on the internet who will pick on it. Eat a sammich, you are shaped like a boy, you have no tits, your ass is too big, your ass is too flat, your stomach is too round, you have too many muscles,

I know it’s disproportionate…

Greys was a great guilty pleasure show for a couple seasons. now it’s like “ugh REALLY THATS STILL ON!? ISNT EVERYONE DEAD YET?”

She’s the straight man in Parks and Rec, definitely not as funny as Amy but she makes Amy funnier by...well, not being funny.

you just made my day

HEY

i fuckin love google madlibs.

oooh this looks good

you’re a creep.
you’re a weeiiiirdooooo