“He wears those douchey Ed Hardy shirts. If he wants to see us, he needs to stop wearing that shit.” - Mady and Cara

Jeah, he’s right above Kate’s head. She adopted Ryan Lochte at gunpoint, according to him.

“Judge, do you even comprehend how hard it is to kill a woman we disagree with, not to mention blow up the damn place, if we can’t get within 8 feet of the building???”

“It calls you seconds later and asks, ‘Why do you still have a land line, grandma? It’s 2016. Oh right, seven days...’”

Same. Wet hair grosses me out. I cannot see a hair clog without gagging. UGH.

It rings anyway! The Rings!

Instead of an evil VHS tape they use an evil CD-R

His all-hands-on-students attitude is impressively horrifying.

How spoopy!

95% of the reason I choose to frequent an establishment is waffles.

I was worried what the run-off was going to be like with Gawker down now. Like rats from a sinking ship, they had to go somewhere... =\

He's nice though he called me a cunt in another comment section :)

It seems as if Jez has a new full time troll here

Just like you don’t wear Crips colors or Hells Angels patches if you aren’t a member, the real #1 Grandma isn’t going to take that shit lightly.

So beautiful!!!! The ring is nice too.

Also, don’t reschedule an interview at the last minute by saying you have a previous engagement. It shows poor planning, and, according to Burce Hurwitz, “Makes you sound like a slut who’s running around getting engaged all the time.” His words. Not Mine.

(That was a joke, folks...)

That's because I'm editor in chief for The Cuck...

ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ADULTOSAUR GOING TO WORK