I love insults that poke fun at how useless someone is.

A good friend of mine’s Grandmother used to say “He’s about as useful as a chocolate teapot” and I fucking love it.

Obviously that does too.

Just the entire time I was reading this all I could think of was a good friend of mine who happens to have a “micro penis” and how he would feel about this article being nearly centered around the insult.

Separate issues.

Yeh, this made me uncomfortable.

I forget which commenter it was but I read a glorious takedown of a troll that used the most innocuous term ever as an insult and it makes me laugh to this day. I’ve used it frequently since then and it seems to confuse your sparring partner just enough that they falter.

That’s nice. It’s pink.

I’ve literally seen five different shades of pink be called “millennial pink” so the name really doesn’t hold much weight.

It’s been a popular colour for a lootttt longer than this decade.

Oh god, 13 year old me would have LOVED Millie, I wish she could’ve been around when I was a young buck to influence. She’s so poised yet still perfectly young and carefree.

This truly is the darkest timeline.

oh god, yes please. It’s like porn to me.

Yes, Bridal Showers are a thing as well. Usually those are for close family and friends, whereas around where I am from, you usually have your Stag & Doe in your hometown and invite everyone under the sun. It’s like a highschool reunion for anyone from my small town. Which is kind of nice, seeing old friends from…

As someone who has a new 6 month old kitten who enjoys....er...investigating this made me howl and also worry IMMENSELY.

This is legitimately what my stance on the situation would be.
Either let the earth swallow me whole or have god strike him dead please. please.

For me, it was The Eagles “Take It Easy”. It was playing as I went under for my wisdom tooth extraction and I woke up from that wonderful drug-induced haze singing it, and a very kind but outright LIER of a nurse patted my shoulder and said: “you have a very lovely voice, dear.” Now, whenever I hear that song I think…

OK ok ok ok the first time reading through this I completely read it as you kicked your girl across the room and not the cat.

Waaaay different vibe.

EDIT: OK I just re-read it again and totally mis-read my mis-read. I’m just....so confused now. Either way, cat or girl, pretty funny.

My 6 year old niece wanted to name her baby sister “Avocado” and honestly I think she’s right on trend....

Man, that was the biggest misconception of my youth. When I was around 6 I once asked my father, in an earnest way only a 6-year-old can... “Dad, why do ladies leak blue stuff?”

It’s a thing here in Canada. Stag & Doe’s are the fundraisers, Bachelorette/Bachelor parties are the strippers and drunk shenanigans.

As a photographer and graphic designer who has been asked to work for free because it’ll be “good exposure”.

No. Promised “good exposure” doesn’t pay my hydro bill. Sure I’ve done stuff pro bono, but it was either MAJORLY worth it or for someone very close. And I don’t even do that anymore. At least not often.

To be honest, since I started a fitness class my sexlife has been waaaay better. My core muscles are much stronger and it makes certain positions far easier than before. And I feel more relaxed and limber, making reaching orgasm easy-peasy.

my sweet ramen prince

27, clipped straight out of a Teen People. Which I hoarded for years and almost had a small episode when I had to throw them out to move houses at 21.