How was what Harper said shitttalking, though? Here’s the quote I found:

“I was very shocked that [the Marlins] were going to let go of [Christian] Yelich, [Marcell] Ozuna and [Giancarlo] Stanton because they were one of the best outfields in the game, very shocked about that. You can’t say enough about what Stanton…

This is baseball, so the only way to resolve this is for a Marlins pitcher to fire a fastball at 95+ MPH directly at Bryce Harper.

[Bill Polian’s Inner Monologue: Ahhhhh, okay Bill, don’t say because he’s black, whatever you do, do NOT say it is because he’s black!]

“Lamar Jackson is just too short to play QB in the NFL. He can’t even outplay his brother Willis, and he’s always getting pushed around by The Gooch.”

He also thought Tito would have the best musical career.

I’m amused by the commentators taking the run seriously.

Word has it that Elizabeth is also very upset about the “cancellation” of the LL Bean “lifetime guarantee.”

So somebody had advance notice. Did anyone contact the authorities? Who knew what, when?

Hot take: It wasn’t THAT bad.

That was Holiday Inn lounge singer bad.

I think all the paint just fell off my living room walls

I read through this story expecting to find an argument between ESPN and an advertiser.

This is how journalism dies—not with a bang, but with a Dave’s Double cheeseburger and a frosty.

Was it at Jefferson? I used to date someone who worked in the cafe and I’d run into Russell a lot when I went to pick her up. One time, I was reading a golf magazine off the rack, waiting for her shift to be over, and Bill comes up to me, shakes my hand (his hands are gigantic; I’m 6'5" and his fingers felt like they…

The people who signed off on the stadium probably agree.

Why wasn’t he charged with a felony for making the cops go through a 25 page PowerPoint presentation?

I don’t know if I’m willing to accept that doctors and cops can betray the public trust, you guys.

Chances are, The Anthem is playing somewhere. The fact that you ever sit disgusts me

True Patriots will stand for the flag on Super Bowl Sunday.

I don’t think of Garys as plumbers. The Garys I’ve known do something inscrutable in the sales or marketing department. Garys wear an unbuttoned button down shirt and Slates to work, and change into a V-Neck sweater with no shirt when they go out for drinks. Garys have no close friends, but they’ll do in a pinch if…