12min/mile walking?  That’s fast.

The shortest distance between two points is a serpentine path in Right Field. 

I also can’t remember the last time my group of friends planned anything via e-mail. For small get togethers, it’s all basically text or chat. If you’re planning something larger/more formal, then it’s some kind of e-vite. That avoids a reply-allpocalypse and still lets everyone see the invite list.

“We do not close the roofs for only heat to maintain competitive fairness for those players who are not playing in either stadium.”

At long last, the answer to the age-old question “What if the Curry 2's looked more like a purse?”

If I ever get a chance to eat dinosaur meat, I’m going to order whatever Fred Flintstone is having.

Wendy’s 4 for $4 meals are the best value in the game right now.

Four Funerals at a Wedding.

I think Trump, like me, soured on Penthouse back when they started showing ladies peeing in the photos.

Candy.

Vermont-assed? Birkenstock USA is HQ’d in Marin County, California, literally a stone’s throw from where the Grateful Dead used to live and practice. And has been for more than 40 years.

I’d rather see the Daniel Tosh version..

“Did I use enough hair product? I think these new frames say, ‘intellectual, yes, but also hip,’ but do they clash with my shirt? Hey, that cute little reporter from the Sun Sentinel is checking me out, isn’t she? Oh shit! What was Jeter talking about?!”

It does sound like the mother just decided to skate on repaying the loans.

no longer devouring eight slices of pizza in one meal,

Stephen. I hate this song.

Oh huh... Is this the same Hiram de Fries who’s Mayor McCheese’s personal lawyer and fixer?

“If this woman hasn’t learned to keep her mouth shut by now...”

I never would have imagined someone named Hiram de Fries would turn out to be a villain.