it’s bizarre for Skipper to say that he had hoped to keep the content of Barstool away from ESPN—the program had “Barstool” in the name!

How about this for an explanation: “Kevin’s wife was fine. But in a previous life, Kevin had a wife with whom witty banter came much easier. We’re shifting this show to an alternate universe where she is still his wife and they live in a house in Queens with her cantankerous old father”.

Why do they hate America/the troops?

I’m only looking for the remote when that incessant Kyrgios infomercial appears yet again.

Those shitty tattoos qualify him for a degree in Rural Sociology, can’t imagine he needed the intro course.

McAdoo: Listen here, Cromartie. You’ve been sowing the seed of discontent around here. Your behavior is giving birth to a lot of unGiant-like attitude in the team. I say, son, you better abort whatever mission you think you’re on.

I once was about to buy a cart full of stuff from Hobby Lobby. But I decided to pull out at the last minute.

Who the fuck keeps a bucket of ice on the dinner table. Are you Bruce fucking Wayne?

Or I could get all my kids’ names tattooed somewhere on me,

Splinter should just email ICE a copy of the spreadsheet, there’s 75% chance that ICE would think Splinter returned it.

Is the headline referring to the shot or the response to it?

...and it’s former 28-year-old rookie Brandon Weeden...

That’s good.

Ortiz speaks better English.

So I heard Bailey’s next doc is titled “Jeffrey Dahmer: Daredevil Foodie!”

They have more in common than Ben probably realizes. In response to the draft, Trump also faked a foot injury to avoid getting killed.

I appreciate Ben Simmons’ right to express an opinion, but he’s flat out wrong on this one.

I’ll bet NCAA 2K18 is going to have an amazing story mode.

If only there was a checkbox to donate $10 to investigating Duke on my tax return. Instead of that stupid campaign funding thing.

When pressed, he said...