That was my exact thought listening to her on NPR this morning. I was like “holy shit...She’s Hillary’s Luther!”

I feel you. My father, who is actually quite intelligent and who I love dearly, literally told me to “shut the fuck up” when I pointed out that Hillary didn’t sleep through Benghazi (it was approximately 3pm eastern).

I was listening to the debate on NPR, as I was trying to maintain at least a semblance of working whilst at work, and it sure sounded like Cheeto Mussolini said “their 15 minutes of shame.”

You just reminded me of this, which is pretty much how I imagine Cheeto Mussolini defending his inevitable bombing of Hawaii in the dystopian future:

Ditto. I sign my name at least a hundred times every time I go to work. Best case scenario, it looks like the number 6 with a long whippy tail. 8-12 hours into my shift...It’s a bunch of curlicue nonsense.

God, that’s fucking awful. I’m sorry you had to deal with that nonsense.

I totally just imagined Meatwad from Aqua Teen Hunger Force doing “Hot dog...igloo”, and laughed like an idiot.

Dude, Clear Care FTW! It’s the only thing that’s helped my horrific allergy-related eyeball spooge irritation action. I’ve been wearing contacts for so long that my glasses make me feel drunk, so it’s literally been a sanity saver.

Omgomgomg!

Or a G.I. bleed. Or C. diff poo. Or full blown gas gangrene.

I once flushed a live louse out of an ear. Somehow I managed to keep it together...until it JUMPED up from the kidney basin, at which point the patient and I both screamed.

Those things are no freaking joke. My first experience with such was when I assisted our very badass, battle-hardened, 4 foot-nothing doctor excise one from a delightful patient’s posterior. I was horrified because it looked like she’d basically cut off an entire buttcheek, but it healed and hasn’t (as of this…

They are! But apparently they seem to have a protective effect against some allergies/auto-immune stuff, so...silver lining? :/

Way back in the day, I can recall dealing with a cow who prolapsed. The vet, who was far away because we lived in East Jesus, Nowhere, advised to flush everything with saline, sprinkle the prolapse with brown sugar, wait an hour, rinse, and stuff it back where it belonged. It worked, and the cow went on to do cow shit…

Yup. Just an entire rib primal, rare, on a plate. End of order.

Trick question. The orbital wall (paid for by the moon, obvs) would prevent aliens from ever setting foot here.

Lucycat had butt trouble (in the form of an abscessed gland; I didn’t know cats got those, so I learned something there) some time ago, and basically spent 24 hours laying on the bathroom rug in a kitty k-hole. She was completely out of it and yowled at me every time I checked on her, like “this is all your fault,…

I heard this!!  It actually made my brain hurt.

Hahaha! Lord, how I loved that font.

I honestly feel like DBT (and Jason Isbell, for that matter) should be billing me for therapy at this point.