I feel like the David's Bridal crap I've seen during my myriad bridesmaid-y trips is pretty universally Not My Thing, and decided several years ago to wear my mother's wedding dress should the occasion ever arise (with some slight tweaking.)

Oddly, I seem to be totally down with the rest of the grain gang; nothing makes a better grilled cheese than bread with all the non-rye grains.

Eh, maybe? I feel like it just has a weird smell that seems to be the main obstacle.

That's awesome!

This sounds a lot like the process I use to figure out what medications (or at least the general purpose of said meds) when I do medical intake at work. I work in jail, so a disturbing number of folks I see have no idea*:

Sad admission time:
While I know that there are many colors in the bread rainbow, for some reason I cannot do rye, pumpernickel, etc, and I have no idea why. I WANT to like the delicious looking, hearty-ass, brown breads- My face portal simply won't cooperate.
The smell of rye seems to sap my desire to like ALL the…

This sounds a lot like the process I use to figure out what medications (or at least the general purpose of said meds) when I do medical intake at work. I work in jail, so a disturbing number of folks I see have no idea*:
a) what meds they take
b) what they're for
c) who prescribes them
d) what pharmacy they use

The…

While I get that it's totally gross in concept, I actually use just a tiny bit of mayo in mashed potatoes. It started kinda accidentally when I was ultra poor and didn't have butter, so I desperation-subbed a tiny ploop of mayo and some random parmesan. It turned out amazingly well, and I have shamefully continued…

A bit off the square here, but this dude is my go-to "I wanna feel all the feelings guy". (And I have a huge girl crush on Amanda Shires (his wife).)

Just wanted to register my joy at your use of "tackily"— another excellent Southernism. :)

Yes. And the particular variation of the hand-to-heart movement.

"God bless 'im, he tries, but...." is my weapons-grade go-to.

I will relinquish "Bless your pea-pickin' heart" when hell freezes over, but I dig your point.
People don't understand the nuances of heart-blessing; it's all in the inflection and what you say with the non-mouth part of your face. A genuine BYH for me is usually accompanied by a sort of hand over heart thingy and…

I feel like I would get along with your mother!
Our fallback ugly baby phrase is "Oh my, what a happy little (boy/girl)!" 8D

OMG "baby stargate".

My brain believes swavy sounds like Everyone's Dad's Dorky Friend's pronunciation of "suave and debonair."

I can generally tune out yelling like a boss, but when he started dropping the "bitch" and "cunt" bombs in that particular tone and throwing shit??

Yes!! Me too! It feels like my nips are being dunked in inexplicably icy fire. It's the worst.

Tangentially related: My ma (a nurse) has been exhibiting super freaky blood pressure spikes and drops with no correlation to any real factor. No stress/anxiety/mental factors, nada.

This! I try to avoid the alcohol based sanitizers when I can because they dry my hands so badly that they crack and bleed. I use it when needed, but in my field (corrections; very rarely any acute patients or direct patient care most days), I can usually wait til I can make a trip to the sink. On intact skin, germs…