*Eureka moment*

Do people think a blood sacrifice is required every month or else our beauty melts away to reveal haggard crones?

but what could she have seen?

And then there is this, my second-favourite picture of all time. A picture of such sublime, ecstatic absurdity that it really ought to be hanging in the National Portrait Gallery for future generations of Britons to appreciate and revere. I love it so.

There’s a Mitchell and Webb Look skit about linden trees being planted in the late 1800’s, and Queen Victoria shocking everybody by announcing that they smell like cum.

That was a great line. Also very nice was “So I very abruptly moved to New Zealand, because I’m a measured person who handles life’s slings and arrows with a cool head.”

Older servers don’t empathize with younger servers. They give you the hardest jobs so that when the manager comes around to alert staff that poop is smeared all over the bathroom, they won’t be the one in charge of cleaning it. You will.

So my partner and I have really good sex. And don’t you ever dare tell him that I said this but the best sex I ever had was with a pizza delivery guy.

That one too!

Everybody needs a little Oglaf in their lives.

The vagina really is mother nature’s purse.

JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST ON A CRACKER.

any suggestions for wide feet and flats? Flats usually don’t fit me right or cut up my heel. I currently wear flat style Crocs but any other suggestions would be great!

any suggestions for wide feet and flats? Flats usually don’t fit me right or cut up my heel. I currently wear flat…

Now I’m having the mental image of a collaboration with Kristian Narn aka DJ Hodor...

We really need a whole series on Kingsley Shacklebolt.

It is probably the other way around - women who identify as straight know they have to swallow all the bullshit patriarchal pressure about looks in order to find a partner, and are therefore more conventionally attractive.

I just thought it was because eating pussy is awesome, but I guess I'm just an uggo.

No.

*looks in mirror*