Florida is now officially offering our unique brand of crazy/stupid to the nation’s campaigns for a small fee and a screen credit. Every certifiable Floridiot Brand™ Wackadoo comes with 12 free oranges and a one day pass to long closed Pirate’s World.

Just when you thought this election could not reach new lows, Billy Pitner proves that there is no bottom to this pit of awfulness. “Deplorable” is a vast understatement at this point.

Nothing says “Family Values,” like suggesting armed insurrection or civil war over losing an election. I am positive that the illegitimate son of the invisible man in the sky totally approves of bloodshed in the name of “christian” values.

“I think there’s a huge white space in the market for luxurious ready-to-wear at a direct-to-consumer price,”

“I’m sure by the end of the tour, women will pour into the streets, donning the red robes of Margaret Atwood’s handmaids and reverently wailing Trump’s name at the sky.”

Well, Chris Wallace did volunteer to be effectively no moderator by saying that the moderator shouldn’t correct false statements. So there’s one.

I am thinking endless good thoughts to you. Congrats on making it to this point!

Oh, good. I was so hoping that a new show would come along and remind me of that miserable time in my life.

Thanks for that correction, which makes it all the more ludicrous to follow the words that were put into the mouth of the illegitimate son of the invisible man in the sky by a bunch of lonely, pissed off mostly illiterate men.

We are so not forgetting about you motherfucker.

“While I didn’t get my early marriage or my 12 kids or my big house with a white picket fence, my commitment to sexual integrity has allowed me the freedom to live the life that I want. I am living the life that feminists throughout history fought for.”

Yes we did. No we did not. Yes we did. No we should not.

All of that is accurate, but conveniently leaves out the simple fact - as distasteful as it might be - none of these countries was in full civil war or even close until we happily eliminated not one, but two tyrannical dictators with zero plan for the 2 countries.

At the end of the day, like it or not, our messes in Libya and Iraq destabilized the entire region and caused the rise of ISIS, which is at the genesis of the war in Syria.

Our federal government had a hand in Flint when EPA did not take action. Clean water is straight up the purview of the federal government. There are way fewer limits on how the federal government can take action in Flint than on what we can do in a war zone.

My question was and is not that there is no coverage in newspapers. It is that there is little or zero coverage in the campaign and very, very little on cable and TV news.

“Instead they were asking what he would do about the situation in Aleppo, which makes complete sense because this is a major news story.”

Four-Finger. The one in the lifeguard hut has ditch weed.

My point is that nobody ever asks about an American city killing its residents to save a few dollars, but everyone wants to know about Aleppo or Mosul or Fallujah all the time.

How come nobody ever asks a candidate, “Where is Flint and why should you know this?” I know this was national security/foreign policy, but when have we heard anything asked about this? Never. That’s when.