Last month was a crappy month and I hope this month will be better. In case any of you need cheering up here is a picture I took today:

I haven’t but now I will!

Thank you!

The angles!!! Back in our day we had to flip a digital camera around backwards and hope to god we got our face in the shot. These spoiled kids today will never know the true strugglw of the selfie! And yes omg I was so emo. I think I’m still emo. Emo forever.

Too late to edit my other post but I got my mom to send me a picture of my epic cat senior picture. (She has it in a big frame collage, hence the random baby pictures on the side.) The early 00s was not kind to my eyebrows.

I have an IRL friend who was super popular on MySpace and had people make fake profiles of her back in the day. One of her pictures was even stolen for the banner of a porn site! I bet her pictures have been used to Catfish a rob of people!

Have you ever put peanut butter on an Oreo and then eaten it? By some black magic it ends up tasting like a Butterfinger. I swear to god! You know what else is good? Watermelon Sour Patch candies. I could eat 5 boxes a day if I had such access.

I sadly don’t have any of my senior pictures with me, but I DO have a collage of my MySpace pictures from when I graduated high school (2006):

Especially with a makeup rifle set to whore!

Isn’t there also stuff in the Bible about not shaving/ cutting your hair, eating pork, wearing mixed fabric clothes, etc.? What kills me about these biblical literalists is that picking and choosing is all they do.

I believe shortly after they stopped cooperating the statute of limitations expired... which is a fucking travesty.

Wearing a lot of makeup is actually a thing in their cult. You wear makeup so men look at your face at not your slutty, slutty body.

They should have just name him John Gault hahaha. If I’m to be totally honest I suppose I could say I have some moderate Libertarian social beliefs, but every actual Libertarian I’ve met has basically been an anarchist conspiracy theory nut job.

They're all hardcore Libertarians! I'm with you guys fucking Vaughn (although I'd be sad about it), marrying Stossel and killing Rand. Fact: I JUST realized like right this instant he must be named Rand because of Ayn Rand. Right?

Amy Schumer has been on fucking point this entire season and I’m glad Jezebel is giving her as much exposure as possible. Anybody who doesn’t like it can fly to Denver AND SAY IT TO MY FACE MAN. COME AT ME BROS.

What is that?

Wait... Those are real? I was skimming comments and thought you were proposing the most ridiculous ideas you could think of to be funny. However the Flowers in the Attic Lifetime movie holds my heart because it has to. The Pregnancy Pact is up there.

I would love Lifetime forever and ever if they played the games from the new women’s hockey league that is starting up.

Team eyeliner wings so long they can fly me away from my problems.

Fuck Marry Kill: Vince Vaughn, Rand Paul, John Stossel