As a proud Towson graduate, I believe I speak on behalf of all alumni when I say “We have a swim team?”

I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.

I know it’s en vogue to to make these kind of outrageous claims every time there is an opportunity, but in our heart of hearts we know they are bullshit.

“You trying to get the pipe?”

Let’s all reserve judgment until we get the full blow-by-blow of what happened.

Pretty sure you and I would not get along.

Great answer to a question no one asked.

Typical Deadspin turning a simple error into some huge crisis. Old ass Ted Lerner said “Get the black” and Rizzo misunderstood.

The coach was just upset because he'd recently invested in a Bucharest nightclub.

Good for Daniel. Congrats on having the best Victor Cruz Halloween costume that I’ve ever seen.

“Maybe someone could open the baby gate for Daniel Fells?”

Detroit fans take similar pictures, but most are tongue-in-cheek.

Out of 15 Zubaz outlet stores that are still open, 18 of them are in Buffalo.

Wanna get away?

You think that's nice, Elvis Andrus gave away the entire game.

Since some people are at work, here’s a transcript of all the useful and/or funny content in the video:

Matt was really worried his son was banging his girlfriend, Rihanna.

That doesn’t sound like a Clippers move to just invade someone’s house and force them to re-evaluate their life decisions.

Saban: What’s the play?

“That’s coward stuff” - the guy who throws bats at people