"He probably shouldn't have taken his brother's bike."

"Wow I'm surprised Jefferson could even get up, given his age."

Yes, but as we've already seen, Winston is coming in whether he's invited or not.

All this means is that someone other than B.J Upton will lead the league in strikeouts this year

Just keep shooting. You'll score eventually.

I'm sure James White would have done just fine with the alias "James White"

@battman_returns you got 8 followers bruh your own family don't even want to know what you doin! Get better at life!

Woman: [gets hit]
Woman: [gets hit]
Woman: [gets hit]
Woman: [gets hit]
Woman: [looks behind to see a trail of toppled hurdles]

I'm surprised Jones said anything at all, she has built a reputation on being notoriously tight-lipped.

I can think of a few worse contracts at 3b in the AL East...hmmm...

My go-to phrase when my boss (or anyone senior to me) says something is, "I didn't think about it that way." It makes them feel smart.

That's actually some pretty great handwriting considering the sonofabitch was looking in the mirror the entire time he penned that letter.

Bostick: [reads negative, hateful replies]

Well, Denis Potvin's off the hook, because Potvin sucks.

Probably the first time I've seen a mom get into a teen beef without having to turn the private browser on

I wouldnt worry about it.

Self-awareness is survived by his wife, Linda, and sons, William and Chet.

Ultimately, Tortorella brought a reform-minded coaching style to the Canucks, but he couldn't ever get Daniel Sedin and Ryan Kesler to work together and buy into his system.

Please stand by.

It's a good thing Konrad had been a Dolphin. If he had been a Jet, they'd probably still be looking for him.