September 7, 1979

This headline is one vowel away from the best story on Deadspin in years.

The male cheerleader coming in from the left is super heroic, man.

Little known fact, but Andre Rison met Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes on matches.com

i told u I wanna check u out make sure i like the goods

"Ooops you missed" - Roy Halladay 2010

The same thing happens when someone tries to put subtlety in front of Chris Berman.

She looks just like my wife when I approach her mouth with a little stick.

Smart, but risky move by Morton. Breaking a rib sucks, but it's a hell of a lot better than having to watch the Leafs for another 55 minutes.

This is awful.

On top of the pain, the laughter of the spectators must be Morton's salt in the wound.

And people say an area this tolerant wouldn't be able to handle hosting the Olympics.

"Either way: Here is the final Tommy Craggs story."

Following the spill, Horacek scratched Phaneuf and inserted himself into the lineup.

Not sure this is what MLB meant when they said they wanted players to stop chewing.

Yeah. I keep reaching for the Well of Smartass and coming up empty here.

At Nick Denton's wedding, one of the few images I remember vividly is Craggs grinding with his girlfriend up against a mirrored wall, completely shithoused, looking at himself in the mirror (tuxedo-clad, flawless, primal, sweaty) before looking down at her. Up and down, up and down, gyrating, shallow thrusts.

Fuck Craggs

the complete first season of the original Batman television show on DVD, and a fuuuuuckingLed Zeppelin CD.

Woman: [hears an argument about the amount of money professional athletes are paid for signing with a professional team]
Woman: [hears a struggle between two idiots]
Woman: [yells at husband to turn off that damn sports radio show]