Does this count as a sixth tool?

Your bag of dog food can't jump.

Who can blame Jeter for asking someone else to be the one who sucks ass for once?

You can't blame the guy for his infidelity. It was Jeter's last game in Texas, for Christ sakes.

She's just making the same face Vikes fans do when her husband takes the field

RT @Ravens The child deeply regrets his role in the incident.

During pretrial, Nisbet's aviators tan gave him away has a sure flight risk.

I kind of think our treatment of Aboriginal people is pretty shameful, but to each their own.

Leave off the bold...we aren't savages.

Update: Mike Tyson Elected Mayor of Toronto

You can tell he identifies really strongly with his team, because he also doesn't have a point.

This is nothing new; the Braves forked over $75 million to put a dog in CF every day.

Why do women have to scream like they just saw a thousand newborns thrown into an incinerator everytime someone throws a punch? Relax ladies, no one's going to die. Probably.

"Do you think if Tim Tebow was there, he could have stopped you from brutally assaulting your fiance?" - Skip Bayless

Fine.

Those aren't O's and H's, those are a drunk girl's W's and L's . . . she's predicting the Buckeyes will go 2-10 this year. Oh Vodka Samm, you little rascal!

Dad, if you put the phone down, we got you some hookers.

Given their limitations, it is not surprising that EMU have a fight or fight response in every acute stress situation.

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Get better, Leah.