It wasn't Carmelo. He wouldn't even pass gas.

[reaches for low hanging fruit]
[loses balance]
[falls to bottom of comment thread]
[is mercilessly mauled by burners accounts arguing the merits of the 1996 Detroit Lions while somehow managing to include various ethnic slurs & threats of unimaginable violence]
[dies]
[is better off]

Context? Dude, he's eating pussy!

"And for my next trick, I'll completely implode on the back nine."

Something tells me this situation is about to get Messier.

"What were the odds of him still being on coke?" asked Janet Gretzky when reached for comment.

"Two affairs? Amateur" - Tiger Woods

This shirt seems like a stretch. I would hardly call a 2 wins/3 losses record in the NBA Finals "greatness".

Strippers are dirty whores, they want some upstanding, wholesome girls to strip for them.

"The group is a pretty average group of guys. 12 of us in total ranging from probably 25 years old to 55 years old."

"I do not envy the hardy fans who watched all 6:27 of the game between the 43-63 Rockies and the 44-61 Cubs"

Rick Renteria: Listen. Just do your best out there. I know you're in over your head. No one expects you to succeed. You're going to look out of place and a little goofy, but don't listen to the people making fun of you. Just have fun. Well, try to have fun.

Holy shit! Another minor league game went 16 innings last night!?

Why is she freaking out like this? Her baby brother's already ugly.

I don't get it. Did somebody flip a bat?

Streaming video has gone too far.

Now that he's no longer in San Diego, his offense will probably start showing up three hours sooner than it did in the West.

There wasn't a dry eye in the house, except, you know, one of his.

"Oh wow, that's hilarious. Who the fuck was that Eric Lindros guy trying to impress?" -Eric Lindros

Sanders promised to tackle the issues head on, but I think we know how that will turn out.