I’m sorry.

Oh, but when I pour a drink all over a server I get fired from my job. Fucking IT department is no fun.

Pay attention men: Women do not like it when you send your donger to their cell phone. They end up blocking it every time.

Reason #4,191,018 to not be president: you’ve got to to get you itinerary approved by every message board poster and Gawker commenter before setting your Out Of Office.

Process Server: Mr Manziel? You’ve just been served.

You bring up some good points that are definitely worth discussing. The conversation over “leaks” in gaming journalism is an interesting one, and one we’ve discussed a LOT internally. (I sit next to Stephen, and he and I have conversations about this sort of thing ALL the time.)

Hey, how about a spoiler warning? Some of us are waiting until Episode VIII to find out who Supreme Leader Snoke is!

His last task will be to introduce Grobe to the entire staff he retained.

No snark here: The fact that ‘Recommended Stories’ shows 18 [EIGHTEEN] articles is a magnificent tribute to Deadspin. Good work.

The question is, can he get it to land upright?

Look. I know it’s Bryce Harper and all, but this isn’t news. Everyone knows when you haven’t even had the chance to stroke a dong in a while, when you finally get one it’s gonna shoot the fuck outta there.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

Woah, should I check the pending comments before posting my own?!

Woah, should I check the pending comments before posting my own?!

You mean we are going to have one of these posts and no one is going to respond with how stupid it is and what a waste of time it is? Cardinal fans quit faster than their team does.

I am just holding out on my comment punch lines until #69

Laraque you like a hurricane.

I would happily pay $100 to see either Floyd Mayweather or Conor McGregor punch AJ Pierzynski.

@GaybrahamLincoln: Close enough!