I’m not sure giving the impression that your daughter is fast is the best idea.

Not the idiot we want, but the idiot we deserve.

It was a busy (and well-dressed) day at Sluggers, Inc.

In what world is suspension with pay a punishment?

What the eff, Brian?!

So this guys solution to the problem of mixing booze with pills is to combine uppers and downers? Sounds like he really learned his lesson.

I’m shocked the guy with a mohawk, tank top, and hipster glasses didn’t try to step in.

Anything that isn’t anti-perspirant.

Anything that isn’t anti-perspirant.

In the real world, opposition to gun control is blatant endorsement of senseless gun violence, whether Dillon Gee is aware of it or not.

He's just working on his 12 step drop.

Since it's really not very funny when people struggle with substance abuse problems, I will say...get well and good luck, sir.

I really hope the NFL fines him for that crap.

List of crazy people:

1.) People who complain at all about Eva Longoria making them breakfast.

At least their urine tests were clean.

So he's remaining aloof-a?

The firefighters were from Campbellsville, not Louisville, which is almost 2 hours away. Louisville just happens to be the closest city with hospitals that can treat their injuries.

Sports fans don't need to be rationally pissed.

Dodge Doge

It's about time a GM in Detroit rivaled anything anywhere again...