Nothing says “gay” as melismatically, melodramatically, or straight-up sweetly as the very notion of Mariah Carey

I laughed! It was a horrible, butter laugh, but better than nothing. Bravo!

Rick Perry is so mind numbingly dumb. He’s not fooling anyone with those glasses. The lights are on but no one’s home.

This doesn’t make sense to me. How was it road rage? He decided to throw beer bottles at them, and then beat Ms. Hassanen to death? Where did road rage come in: it wasn’t as though they were in another car.

This is one of my occasional forays into grossing you out so hold tight: I totally would. He is pure evil, an over-privileged little twat and elitist like his wife’s father-lover, but I still totally would. He’s a hot aging twink (twunk) who needs to be hate-fucked good.

“I am not shocked that part of her health was affected by drugs,” he continued. “If you want to know what killed her, it’s all of it.”

Even in death the woman continues to be a catalyst for important discussions about women’s mental health, and addiction. Thank you Carrie.

I assert and maintain that Cernovich and Jones enjoy both the sound and smell of their own farts

Liberals can’t even shoot straight.

Dwight D. Eisenhower? I hardly know her!

The best part is how in the main she doesn’t have much of an accent, and yet every now and then she’s suddenly Murray from Flight of the Conchords.

Onion rings > french fries.

I like her.

As someone who keeps pizza scorecards in her purse, I’m okay with Lorde keeping track and rating her onion rings.

Aside from the fact that Trump is hiring people who obviously are completely unqualified for the jobs that he is hiring them for, what the hell is that cartoon? I mean content aside, does anyone think that Donald is that physically fit? He’s an orange beanbag not The Rock.

Oh, boy, the Fyre Festival of urban housing.

This is getting too much use lately.

My “favorite” case of the Hollywood paygap had to be the fact that CHARLIZE FREAKING THERON got paid less than Chris Helmsworth for Snow White and the Huntsmen. Charlize Theron. Who was basically the only good part of that whole mess. Who has a fucking Oscar.

The clothes are just bad and Melania is basic with no personality. The only interesting thing about Melania is Laura Benanti’s impersonation of Melania.

For what it’s worth, Joshua Kushner is allegedly anti-Trump. Alternate theory: He’s not actually anti-Trump and this is kinda sorta maybe evidence to support the claim that T Swift is a secret Trump supporter.