“One 24-year-old woman told me that her boyfriend broke up with her because ‘he told me that I wasn’t girlfriend material because I had been with 10 guys[.]” HIYA! Karate kick that mother to the curb. Then karate kick his sorry ass out of your life. Because anyone who would use this a scale for “rating” someone as…

“[T]he stolen Crown Jewel (at least ratings-wise) of the kingdom is returning tonight.” There, I fixed it for you.

“Use our services! You might still have 99 problems, but that bitch or motherfucker won’t be one!”

The Aquarium. See: Closer (da movie, not real life.) So much cleverness, it leaves me fucking breathless.

On Netflix. Or AMC. Or...take your pick. (No unions, though. Just a “work” place with a suggestion box.)

And we go by history, you betcha there will be. See: Sony leaks. Whatever. It’s all shit.

Exactly.

“And girls like me are beaten, kidnapped, gang raped, and tortured into selling our bodies to adults, every night. This is not about choice.”

“And girls like me are beaten, kidnapped, gang raped, and tortured into selling our bodies to adults, every night. This is not about choice.”

How To Get Paid For Playing With A Person’s Life or How To Be Part of A Snuff Film (And Not Give A Flying Fuck), or

“He has an androgynous name; when I heard people talking about him or if we were on the same mass email, I thought he was a chick.” I’d say that’s pretty great.

“But here’s the thing, ok? No one gives a fuck.” You’re my kind of charming, no shit.

Ted Cruz is “proud to stand up and fight” women.

<a href="http://imgur.com/9kqFm4C"><img src="

Seriously. Doesn’t this fool know how to rock a pair of sunglasses?

DiCaprio should play this guy, because you just know they’re going to make a movie out of his life.

“this is a very normal way to talk about human beings, this source clearly must be Gwen Stefani’s closest friend and not some soulless PR agent.”

“The Association of American Universities survey also found that students are unlikely to report rape and sexual assault to law enforcement or campus authorities; they say reporting rates range “from five percent to 28 percent, depending on the specific type of behavior.” Wonder why.”

And even if someone does, they have the powah to bury the story. Or completely change the story. See Dick Cheney shooting his hunting buddy in the face:

Not until they were done fullfilling those orders, though. Gotta honor those orders.