How is motherfucker incestuous? It doesn’t imply whose mother the fucker is fucking.

Trout named the band Sha Na Na... They did not want to be called that.

I don’t know about anyone else, and this may be a controversial opinion, but I’ve always felt that the biggest benefit of having one’s wighat in place is that no one seems to notice the great jumping catfish doing the limbo on one’s face.

The greatest irony will be to watch the last Canadian team get its ass kicked in the final by Nashville, while our letter writer (the not-bitter Habs fan) watches P. K. Subban win the Conn Smythe.

It probably doesn’t help that his mouthguard is made of Nylabone.

Not to mention the Brazilian whacks.

Umm, the Lakers are 5-1 in their last 6 games. The only teams with better records in their most recent 6 games are the Warriors and Cavs. You really expect the third best team in the NBA right now to tank after adding the #2 pick in the draft? Boy you are dumb.

It was his aunt, Crystal....

The Celtics already got the last win of their season earlier tonight

“I am the son and the heir/of a shyster who is criminally vulgar” —Lonzorrissey

Mandatory, for yesterday:

Trump: Holt?
Holt: Yes, Donald?
Trump: Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?
Holt: Well, I can’t say I have, Donald.
Trump: Vodka, that’s what they drink, isn’t it? Never water?
Holt: Well, I-I believe that’s what they drink, Donald, yes.
Trump: On no account will a Commie ever drink water, and not…

I don’t hate any of them, but I’m a Papa Murphy’s fan.

Now that’s a guy who looks like he just ollied off a girl’s tits.

Karlsson won the Norris twice including once (some would say twice) when Nashville’s (at the time) Shea Weber should’ve won it.

Bring it. #SMASHVILLE

In the south, it’s par for the course.

If he finds his swing in AA and AAA, who knows, maybe they’ll make Tebow Harvey’s designated best friend and roommate!

Tebow: [Barging into Harvey’s room, jogging in place] Hey Matthew! It’s 4:30, time to hit the gym!
Harvey: [Groggliy] 4:30? Shit, I overslept. Where are we going for dinner?
Tebow: [doing jumping jacks]…

Maybe not, but Browns fans are certainly used to being chopped and screwed.

+1 delicious pumpernickel bread and honey butter