Beethoven: “Goodbye sauerkraut, hello collard greens.” 

Beethoven: “I’ve always wanted to say this: ‘for shizzle!’” 

Where was he buried? I got a shovel, you can get an ancestry.com kit. We’ll solve this thing tonight at midnight.

Why can’t Beethoven be black? Alexandre Dumas was and people didn’t lose their damn minds!

Dr. KELSO: Ted, was this your doing?
TED: Please, sir. I don’t have the guts.
TED (in his head): OH YEAH! SUCK IT BITCH! I WILL MURDER YOU!!!

I donated as well.

As each year passes more and more people discover the brilliance of Scrubs.

RIP Sam.

R.I.P.

Angel Summoner is not Jesus.

*IMMORTAL COMBAT

Meh, I prefer Billy Graham’s Bible Blaster.

Those without bags in the overhead are allowed to get up and exit first.

I’ll bite.. as a heavy travaller, while I can’t (and won’t speak for EVERYONE on the plane, I can give some reasonable answers to this):

One way planes could (should) deboard: 1st. Everyone sits until the door is open. 2nd. Those without bags in the overhead are allowed to get up and exit first. 3rd. Those with bags in the overhead above them get up and then exit second. 4th. The people who pack too much shit and have it in overheads all over the damn…

As Chris Rock said “there are black people who aren’t even born yet who won’t vote for him.”

Bill Buckner, God rest his soul, cringed at that error.

My dad is silly, likes to make jokes with servers, cashiers, etc. When I was in college, we went to a really nice steakhouse with my roommate’s family. When the check came, my dad looked it over as he always does, called the server back, and told him there was a mistake. The server got all nervous and apologetic and…

Instead of people complaining about these same old tired jokes ( I get them in my job too) maybe we should all appreciate the fact that not everyone looks at us as worker drones and some people actually take the time to try and interact with us instead of treating us like a drone.