The national press was falling all over each other rushing to write breathless takes about how awesome Dallas is, and I don’t think it ever once occurred to them to take into account who they were playing yesterday.

Sounds like they called the wrong dolphin Snowflake.

Do people actually do that? Has anyone ever been parented by someone who offers nothing more than an endless string of aimless support and superlatives? I mean sure, I can relate to the more general idea of having parents who do little to equip their kids with tools to handle life in the modern world, but this doesn’t…

The next Teddy Skuchas right there.

So u persecute Jared Fogle just because he has different beliefs?

It’s like the Vice-Principal of the Internet is calling you into his office.

Or attract an awful lot of leather-clad dudes who are into that sort of thing.

So? The fault for that lies mainly with the U.S. government for involving those sources in their illegal and immoral war-making schemes in the first place. The U.S. government puts at risk every single person they cultivate as an intelligence asset. How many get killed simply on account of having been spotted entering…

It might feel wrong, but I assure you that there is nothing wrong with reading Chuck Tingle while you watch FOOTBAW.

My favoritest thing about the Bears’ kicking woes is that Matt Bryant was available to sign as a kicker any fucking time they wanted. 

Only on the nights where someone comes to shoot up the stadium.

Does it count if I do it myself?

Why don’t you make like a tree, and get outta here?

Thing is, people know their interests. Some people would rather be poorer and less healthy and die younger if it means they still get to be racist in public. They know what they’re doing, and you just, you love to see it.

Why is your whole torso just flapping around in that thing? WHY??

Chowdah! Say Chowdah!!

Nothing on Earth is more fitting than that Dave Portnoy is a fan of this team.

When an unproven and overmatched head coach also somehow wins the power struggle to be GM, they pretty much ruin the team overnight.

But what of the billionaire leeches, and their toys?

That was a wicked googly!