Ugh, I hate when my limbs are loose.

Yesss, can’t wait!! My friends and I are such huge fans that we even created our own characters and promo video to hold us over. We call our group BLOW....

Shelter Cat Update!

What the fuck? He’s telling a very relevant story. Get out of here.

I kept looking for Zack, and then realized that he’s the one who looks like Mr. Belding. 😧

So, I have a fun story about Dustin Diamond. I’m from Daytona Beach, Florida. We used to have these things (which have since been banned) called bottle clubs/after hour bars. Bars close in Daytona at 2:30/3 AM. The Bottle Clubs didnt even OPEN until 1 or 2 AM. They operated in a legally gray area where you would…

And all this time I thought Saved by the Bell took place in high school, but I guess it must have been elementary school because all these people look amazing!

WINNER!

Oh god. I started watching - and then (to my horror) enjoying - WWF wrestling during my freshman year of high school. This was back in 2000/01 when it was still WWF and not WWE, and The Rock was still wrestling. The guy was a year older than me and a “bad boy” at my extremely sheltered Baptist high school (i.e. he…

Tried to be super cool in front of my crush and his friends by pretending that I knew how to deep throat. Attempted to show them with a banana. Choked on it and then puked copiously all down my shirt and his jeans. Thank goodness we moved that summer.

If only...now I’m just fat again.

Gay dude here. I was OBSESSED with this guy at the gym in college. Gorgeous, blonde, and drove around with a geriatric golden retriever in the back of his pickup truck. Legit snack. One day he saw me stretching (I begged my mother to let me take gymnastics and dance classes and wear lycra as a child—ahem—shoutout to…

I’m probably about 25 at the time of this story. The subject of my attention is a co-worker that is about a year younger than me that I also went to college with. We both also happen to live in the same neighborhood. I’m planning on going to visit a friend of mine out of town for the weekend. Then it dawns on me. I…

I was raised Methodist and I have never believed speaking in tongues was real. Of course I know people who claim to have done it. I always ask them what they said. Of course they never know because no one could translate it, and that’s when you break out Corithians 14:

For basically all crushes childhood-teenage years: avoid any and all interaction with them hoping to not even so much as cross their paths as the mere sight of them terrified the ever-loving shit out of me so the slightest notion of even talking to one was just outright. You weren’t there, but I’d say my efforts were…

I most definitely snorted a Pixy Stick during an assembly in fourth grade. I don’t recall the subject, but a bunch of us were sitting on the gym floor watching a movie and the lights were out. I was hanging with my bestie and the two boys we liked when one pulled out some Pixy Stix and dared us to try snorting one. Of…

Anal sex.

Went to an evangelical church while I was a practicing Jew. I wasn’t good enough for his father so things didn’t go very far. He’s on his third divorce now. I guess I wasn’t first or second wife material. Still got a shot at fourth, though!

Lost 40 lbs. “If I’m skinny I’ll be attractive, then they’ll have to notice me!”

Who hurt you Raina? This is a safe place. It's going to be okay.