I assumed it sounds like Key-Lee (spelled phonetically, obvs). But I have no idea. Ugh, the Brayden, Jayden, Caydens of the world definitely fit your description here in Tennessee. 

I, honest to God, just about aspirated on a hard boiled egg as I read that. This isn’t a “I just sprayed Diet Coke out of my nose” type of exaggeration. A chunk of it went down wrong and I spent about 20 minutes trying to hack it. Like a weird cat. But I’d do it all again, because that was funny (and completely apt)…

That is shitty, even by his standards (if he had any). God, I thought my dad sucked.

So a week ago yesterday I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It’s likely benign but I still have to have surgery and maybe radiation. I had been put on FMLA a couple weeks prior since this PITA lump has been freaking wrecking my life. But I knew I couldn’t stay in bed, depressed much longer.

Oh my gosh, I love you and your friends! You guys are awesome. 

I love this so much. If I could print on a t-shirt, I'd wear it daily. Especially to "yoga" (for me that means smoking a few bowls and eating Funyuns).

Same!!! Granted, that’s by the far the least cringe-worthy thing I did for a boy. But I ended up loving Monday night’s to either watch Nitro or Raw (this was when the WWF was still wrestlers, not pandas). Late 90's, I think!

SoCo, so hard.  

My most wonderful, amazing uncle died in November from pneumonia. It all started with the flu. He had a shot but a terribly suppressed immune system, so he still got sick. My hillbilly anti-vaxxer brother refuses to get his kids vaxxed. Hillbilly brother ends up hospitalized last month. Call me cruel, but no sympathy…

You sound like you’re a fellow southeastern-er. Around these parts we’ve got Coke (any kind of soda) and sweettea (pronounced one word). I love me some fancy pants tea. I work at one of the universities down here, and we host an annual convention. One year, one of the breakout hosts was British and gave me the most…

It made my eye twitch. They all speak that way. 

Right? I live in the south (Tennessee), and lots of my family lives in the deep south. I've never heard any variation and I'm around terrible racists all the time. 

THAT VIDEO!!!! I just watched that while lying in bed, with my sleeping husband beside me. I woke him up from trying to hold in my giggles. I then finally just gave in and laughed until I cried very real tears. Thank you for that. I'm so serious. 

Omg, I'm loving how I managed to autocorrect I love corny jokes to Ilesbian love corny jokes. But I'll take it. 

Whoa, not my intention AT ALL. I, as a Tennesseean, have followed this race closely and was blown away-and terrified-by the margin of loss for Bredesen. Nothing else. My bad. 

Now instead of the Secret Service yelling, “Mr President, get down!”, they’re instructed to command “Donald, duck!”

RIGHT?!? What the shit happened?!?

Just discussing this election in particular brings me to tears. Being an East Tennessean, we’ve got our own state election of Good vs. Evil going on. But I have plenty of family that are in Georgia and are racist, terrible people and for the sake of all that is holy, I hope their hillbilly asses forget about their…

This week I bought a six year old Volvo C30. Apparently it’s a Cullen Volvo, as in its the same model of Volvo from Twilight, but she’s beautiful and perfect. It’s not a grad school payment for myself or my husband. Nor is it a bill paying off cancer treatments for either of us...as we've both had. It's for a…

Right? Sex aside, I’m a gigantic chicken. I just text one of my girlfriends asking if it was super lame that I had to turn it because I was home alone and it was dark.