I have a relative who thinks Trump is great. She also puts random words in capital letters in her tweets, goes off on unfounded harangues about brown people and probably doesn’t know the difference between HPV and HIV either. She also has several “Live Laugh Love” pillows throughout her house. It’s scary that there…

My dog LOL’d.

The best way to get posh Brits to take their drugs is to hide it in a piece of cheese.

A year later and I have been invited to ‘brieing parties’

So, I guess I’m a more private or reserved person, but I feel about doing MDMA with my friends the same way that I felt when my friend asked me to be in the delivery room while she gave birth: I don’t really want to know you that well.

Come on, in my book it’s a positive that relatively harmless drugs such as MDMA (as opposed to cocain, alcohol, heroin etc) aren’t being demonized anymore. I am as much for a legalization of pot, as I am for MDMA.

It is, at times, better to conceal one’s ignorance. Casein point.

I thought I was upside down, but then I realized that my eyes had just rolled all the way into the back of my head.

Um, I don’t even know what to say. He also thinks Gates invented the internet. I commend Bill Gates for not cursing Trump out or punching him on the face after the comments about his daughter’s appearance. I would have made a joke about her having a real billionaire for a father.

He Binged it.

Jesus fucking Christ.

My cousin has six- the oldest is 16. When I told my great-aunt about the fourth, her elderly neck whipped around and asked, “Has she figured out where they come from?”

3 seems high.

Just when you thought the cheez puff in chief couldn’t get any more disturbing, he reveals himself to a) not know – but be concerned about –the difference between HPV and HIV, b) be an antivaxxer, and c) be creepily stalking Bill Gates’ daughter.

Pence keeps asking about the difference between mother and motherfucker. Someone needs to tell him one is his wife and the other is his boss.

 Oh what a tangled web we weave when Baldwins endeavor to breed.

My dog and I practice fire drills (yes, I’m one of those people). We just moved into a new place so she needs to learn the new plan but I have faith she can handle it. So even if her hypothetical little sister isn’t as smart as she is, there’s still me.

Haven’t slept in two nights and was puzzled by Selena’s hookup with the married Canadian PM.

Seems like higher kid counts are making a comeback. A few of my friends have 4-5 kids and another just had her 6th. Meanwhile, I’ve got a pro/con list going about getting another puppy, bringing my fur baby count to 2 if the pro column wins out.