I haven’t had one either. It ain’t fair and it ain’t right.

...So are you bringing everyone a plate? Cuz I don’t know why you’d be advertising such a thing, at lunch time no less, if you weren’t gonna make food for everybody.

The urge to nitpick every single track on here is so strong, but I can’t devote all of my work time to writing on The Root. Still...soooo.  Much. Nitpicking.

I’ma take the advice that has been passed down from my mother, grandmother, aunts and mother-in-law;

Oooooh, I’ma save this one! See, this is why I keep coming to Kinja...

I think at issue here are several things;

No, you’re doing it wrong!

...Man, Dave is so fucking lazy...

Because most people don’t know the actual Joe Biden, only the meme friendly version that hung out with Barack Obama. Biden’s gaffes have torpedoed his two prior runs for President. He can not keep his foot out his mouth, and even if this poll is an outlier, I think more people are either starting to realize that or…

Jason, my dude, I say this because even though we don’t always align in our views, I think you’re an insightful, talented guy...

She’s doing good now, but every once in a while when I talk to her she’ll say “oh, my day is okay, just dealing with my neck again” or something to that affect. Again, it’s been six years, and still there are days when she doesn’t feel quite normal.

The reason that thighs usually get no love is because literally no fast food fried chicken chain makes good chicken thighs. None. They’re all rubbery and greasy and they barely have any meat on the bones.

No, meaning one of the writer’s on Deadspin left and was like “I’ll ungray people” and I was like “dibs on the ungraying” and they ungrayed me.

I’m pretty sure the way I got ungrayed on The Root was completely by accident when they bought everyone over from Very Smart Brothers. Then I got grayed again for pissing off Yesha, but then she realized it was a misunderstanding and I got ungrayed again.

My mom had a herniated disk in her neck several years ago and the agony she was in constantly was indescribable. She couldn’t walk. She couldn’t eat. There was no comfortable position in which she could lay. Her only escape was taking pain medication that would knock her out cold. She tried to tough it out a few times…

Jomboy is literally the way I've been following anything and everything baseball related. It's really the only way to do it.

Capitalism won’t kill us all. American capitalism will likely kill us all.

She liked the money. She liked the access and the power and the fact she’d never have to work again.

DeShaun Watson was the first guy I thought of when this happened. The Texans have somehow managed to out-Colts the Colts.

Because they still have to manufacture some sort of adversity or reason why they are either exactly like you, or actually the underdogs, because being the Greatest Football Team of the Modern Era, having the best head coach of all time and arguably the greatest quarterback ever is actually a hindrance to them, somehow.