I legitimately forgot that the Bengals were a team until I went to Deadspin’s front page and saw this article. Every once in a while I’ll see their uniform and be like “Oh, right, shit, the Bengals exist!”. Anytime I try and name all 32 teams in the NFL, I have to rack my brain for five minutes to remember the fourth…

They’re not even attacking Obama. “Light criticism of policies almost everyone thinks are garbage” is not the same as attacking Obama. The criticisms aren’t even aimed at Obama, and no one is calling Obama trash.

Are we at the point where people can’t make light critiques of the actual lame/bad shit Obama has done without it being some sort of massive gaffe? I understand Obama is popular, but, like, Bill Clinton was popular, and Barack Obama sure had no issue taking Bill and Clinton to task for their lame and bad shit, so...I…

Like, I know these rankings are supposed to drive conversation and be annoying, but Biden got completely and utterly bodied no less than four times. At what point does that start to hurt his rankings at least a little bit?

I’m still shocked someone talked him into running, or, worse, that he talked himself into running. He could’ve enjoyed a pretty decent career being remember as the Affable Goofy Vice President and instead he decided “hmm...there sure is a bunch of skeletons in my closet...maybe I should let someone dig them up!”.

I mean, the dirt simple way to explain a tax raise for health care is this;

My opinion was always going to be that Joe Biden was going to start looking bad the second he had to start talking, and...well...YUP! Soon as Joe Biden had to start speaking, everything crumbled away. He’s stumbling over his words. He doesn’t know the difference between a deductible and a premium. He seems out of his…

On second thought, why would he go to Hood or Frostburg when Montgomery College is more centrally located? You can hit all three campuses just by utilizing the red line, he can still perv on women young enough to be his daughter, and on the weekends he could be the white guy who throws shapes at Ultrabar and maxes out…

Nah, it’s pretty a requirement for guys like Delaney to be married. You don’t go to Georgetown University to get a doctorate and NOT get a white wife to have 2.5 children with.

I really think he’s gonna wind up being the VP candidate no matter who wins the nom. He’s a person of color, and he’s got that just right quality that would allow him to counterbalance any of the front-runners.

Come from the political takes, stay to be secure in the knowledge that yes, getting anywhere in the DMV area is at once super convenient (compared to other places) and insanely convoluted and frustrating.

I mean if we want to downgrade him, he’s more like the shift manager at the Big Lots in Germantown who goes to the Chick Fil A at Germantown Transit Center for every day for breakfast and dinner. He catches the 100 to Shady Grove and then transfer from the red line to the green line at Gallery Place/Chinatown because…

I take issue with calling John Delaney the manager of a Kinko’s in Silver Spring who commutes from Alexandria.

Let’s have a toast for the douche bags
Let’s have a toast for the assholes
Let’s have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast for the jerk offs
That’ll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

.

Fuck me, the debate kinda made me like Bernie.

Elizabeth Warren hit him with that “mom’s exasperated because you made an excuse that’s absolutely bullshit” kind of look and tone.

Just be an Elizabeth Warren supporter. Everything doesn't have to be a hashtag.

No disrespect, but I hope like fuck you don’t have your way.

I mean, the current state of discourse is that Trump tells a big, dumb, stupid, potentially dangerously lie, the press reports it while doing the barest minimum to refute it (usually by calling it “misinformation” or “controversial” or “false” or a “mistruth”), the CNN has people debate whether or not the lying ass…