“Challenge accepted”

I’m so sick and tired of you liberals endangering my children with allowing sexual deviants and predators into their bathrooms.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...

“Why would there be confusion if he spoke English? Joining us in in studio to discuss is Emmitt Smith.”

I think if 2016 has taught us anything, it’s that extremely bad hair is not a deterrent to grossly defrauding the public.

Only in the country Qatar,
Could a rape victim find themselves behind bars,
For simply alerting a jailer.
Wait...goddammit, this could totally happen at Baylor,
Go fuck youself, Ken Starr.

Texas, as always, keeping their priorities straight.

As already pointed out, there’s armor and there’s armor. This eliminates the need for armor.

You’ve got a nice, crisp Tubman coming your way some day.

That last one is incredible. Could’ve really tied it back historically by adding “...unless some asshole got access to your letterhead and decided to write stupid letters to us. Perhaps because you seemingly forgot you represented Phillip Morris, we should assume that this is the case.”

Also responsible for the greatest commercial of all time

I feel so weird when the NFL does something right for a change.

This is such bullshit.

I’m pretty excited about this move for the Pats, although rumors now abound that Amendola’s on his way out to free up more cap space.

he uses computers all the time. computers love him. he has fantastic computers, with many many friends.

the numbers are likely eye-watering.

I'm sure you were all up in arms about the Chinese not sinking our ship exercising its Freedom of Passage through international waters right near their brand new island war base, weren't you?

“I Crash...”
“Oh.”
“Sorry...”