Too bad they can't bite their way out of this one, either, because I know just the guy.

Man it’s as if Manchester United lost one of their defenders to a double fracture and the offender didn’t even get a yellow. I’m sure that was an important event that should have warrant a mention.

This article could not be a bigger, more petulant, wet blanket. I voted against him twice (yes, it was a vote against him), and obviously don’t view his presidency favorably. But he was awesome in the few months following 9/11, and this moment was a highlight (when I/we still needed one) that still gives me chills.…

Also smelled at practices: the Denver Nuggets.

I just don’t understand all this. Why would this woman call Johnson a Polack?

This reminds me of the time Hope Solo found my phone and then beat the shit out of me when I wouldn’t give her a reward.

Terminator: Smorgasbord Day

Damn, I don’t come to Deadspin often, but it seems all people want to do is make fun of players, and then attack each other, so I’m out. I just wanted to say that I am extremely proud of Buckeye D’angelo Russel. I’m no Lakers fan, but damn if I won’t be rooting for him. Go Bucks.

If anyone gives a shit how fat I am at 70, they can swallow my wrinkled dong down to the ball.

Whoever it is, they better get on board with Phil Jackson’s revolutionary ideas about hoopingball contests

The need for women to measure up to men in sports is political correctness gone wrong, as women have wholly different physical parameters and limitations than men. Women’s football (soccer) for instance is slower and more static than men’s football and less entertaining to watch for people who know the game well and…

I'm gonna float a theory here.....

They are lawless... If hands up dont shoot really did happen why is it so hard to find the buddy of his who started the rumor that he was surrendering? Dont shoot can sound like What? you guna shoot? From a distance, which is where all the remaining discredited witnesses who havnt run away cling to. Even if the boy…

That's pretty cool. USC players only dress in stripes.

The bad news is that Randle will likely be returning to a very, very bad basketball team, but only if Kobe Bryant hasn't already killed them all of his teammates by then.

everything paid for for 4-5 years, education, and OJT training for a job that could potentially make him and his children and his children's children millionaires. fucking sob story man.

right, and he also gets gallons of nutritious gatorade, and an athletic conditioning program thrown in for free. what a deal!

below is a mock-up of the student loan debt he'll have after profiting from his likeness:

Brown: Mainly he called me "intercourse".

It's really sad to see Brown just throw away his USC education over this.