yeah does she even know that the last 20 YEARS HAPPENED ??

i didn't realize sir mix-a-lot was an obnoxious, affluent white girl.

She didn't start it, she just made it worse.

Is Megan just like Duggers, no kiss before marriage? ?

I thought a Sex Bark is the noise one makes when "it slips into the wrong hole on accident".

"Whoever gets to date me"

Please go away Megan Trainor. Your faux body positivity and sex shaming are not amusing.

"I started the booty song movement"

And she must tweet with the hashtag #soblessed a lot. I want to punch her in the face.

It's ok, In 2 years, she'll have a Mommy blog about her snowflake child who can't process the complex sugars in refined carbohydrates and is allergic to the colour red.

My clit was apparently at the Bed, Bath and Beyond just "looking to see if they had any good sales or whatever."

Goddamn it I swear if I trip over somebody's stray clit I will SUE. Put your clits on leashes if there's even a possibility that it will get up and trot off to the next county. Let's all be responsible clit-owners please.

How... many... goddamn... elipses... does... this... hack... use...?

Suddenly the mysterious nature of the female orgasm makes sense. There I was trying to make something happen, and my clit was probably just off drinking dollar beers and cheating at pool.

For GODSSAKES do not give E.L. James anymore crazy ideas!

Flushing tampons down the toilet is the real horror here. NOT SO SEXY WHEN YOU HAVE POOP WATER ALL OVER THE FLOOR AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GET A PLUMBER ON THE PHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING, CHRISTIAN, EH?

Vivien Leigh could've generated chemistry with a MARBLE STATUE, come on

I always love these interviews. The subject is always effortlessly cool/chic/casual. They always shop at little vintage shops that you've never heard of. They always meet up at some vegan cafe / gourmet burger / fair-trade organic kale bistro for the interview.

When Vogue interviews me, they'll be all,…

From his description it sounds like a movie about a man disguised as a movie about women: the important thing about these women is what they taught HIM.