there's no easy answer to that question, unfortunately. generally, it's a bad idea to warn new partners of your abuser. most likely, they won't listen to you because the charm he used to trap you is already being used on the new partner. and if he gets wind that you've warned the new partner about his abusive…

Your intentions are good but he will definitely brush it off as, "oh that's just my crazy ex-girlfriend".

Don't bother warning the next person or the next. I know that seems harsh, but when the abuser is turning on the charm for his next victim there's little you can say to convince them. The abuser will then use what you say to convince their new victim that you're just crazy and bitter over the breakup.

I'm glad. It really is a great feeling. You become your own person again & it sounds cliche or melodramatic but you can breathe again (like we said lol). Enjoy it. After living in fear & anxiety & feeling like nothing you do is right for so long you forget what being your own person is like. I know we've never met or…

" Holy shit I can breathe again. I don't have a pit in my stomach anymore. I'm not afraid or anxious all the time. I'm free." However it happens, when that moment comes it's one of the most liberating & satisfying feelings in existence.

Three things:

So glad you got out and are in a safer place! And you did learn some great perspective.... cleaning up a pool of maggots is nothing compared to the struggles you'd've had if you'd stayed. What price freedom?

Everyone who has ever gotten out of that situation has that moment. It's AWESOME. Either someone says " Wow, you look great. You seem like a new person. I haven't seen you smile/ laugh in forever." Or you're doing something random & all at once it hits you & you think " Holy shit I can breathe again. I don't have a…

If you'd ever been in an abusive relationship, you would understand why it's so much more complicated than "Just leave."

100% this. Even in counseling, I would constantly be frustrated by his ability to say the right thing and seem to just negate any complaints I would have.

It's okay to FEEL jealousy; we all do a little, sometimes. Even when it's not rational. How you handle those feelings is the marker of emotional maturity.

Same story, different guy... Been through the being woken up at 2am and railed at over text messages that didn't mean anything, the slow cut off from family and friends. It finally escalated in physical abuse (the emotional and sexual had been going on for a year or more already), and that's when I finally knew it…

Sometimes it takes the glimpse of how ridiculously happy you can be to walk away from how miserable you are.

I've been praying non-stop for a sign from God if I myself am making a good choice on leaving my abusive boyfriend, at this very moment I'm packing my things hoping for a safe get away while he is at work, I am more scared then I've ever been, scared because I know he will come after me but also scared because I feel…

Sometimes it's not clear just how bad your relationship is until you experience something more normal. That can be a huge wake up call.

I remember taking a training course to assist people with filling out orders of protection, and something the instructor said always stuck with me. She said "abuse is not about the abuser not being able to control himself/herself. If that were the case, the abuse would happen anywhere, any way. If the person can wait…

The commenters saying this is "jealousy" and how bad jealousy is for a relationship scare me. This wasn't "jealousy." This was abuse, designed to give Seamus complete control over her, and it was accomplished through whichever manipulations worked (manipulations like manufactured jealousy).

It's usually because they (abusers) will flip on the charm and appear super fucking normal before an audience. So, if the cops weren't called as any violence was happening, with one party asking the cops to take way the other, then when the get there, cops usually just make the couple separate and one person leave. A…

Good for you, you escaped.
I am a survivor of domestic violence, and what you said nailed it exactly:

Similar story. Different man. Recent break up and the only reason he didn't trash the apt is I broke up with him in public and literally ran to my car, leaving him stranded in another city at least 30 mins away from our apt. Police were called and as my name alone was on the lease, he had to go. I had enough time to…