I really kind of do hope Mindy finds someone worthy of her. I hate most people's happiness, but I get irrationally happy when women in comedy get married or seem to be in happy fulfilling relationships. I was overjoyed to see that Chelsea Peretti and Jordan Peele are dating.

And the back of the ankles. That is always where I get cut if I cut myself.

I worked at (er, an entertainment network that begins and ends with one letter and has an exclamation point in it) for awards show season. There's a slew of P.A.s and writers who do weeks of painstaking research on each nominee, and compose a handful of questions for each one of them. The questions get vetted by the…

I don't mind the "who/what are you wearing" questions — A) they're walking ads, B) I love that stuff and it's interesting, C) red carpet "interviewers" generally have like ten seconds of time with any given actor or actress. It's not really possible to get into an in-depth discussion on the nuances of their latest…

In my day, when a father started fucking his 17 year old daughter (which is when the fucking started by her account) we called that rape.

An aside: I fucking hate Gawker. They've titled this shitshow as something like Father Fucker Talks About What It's Like To Fuck Father. Yeah, bc he's a dead Texas Chainsaw corpse in the living room that she's humping, so Pervert Daddio bears no responsibility in this shit.

Fun fact about me, my cut off for dating older dudes is that they can't have lost their virginity before I was born. JUST IN CASE.

Well, of course not, you need to trade 3 wheat and 2 wool for that, silly.

Nah. Fucking your teenaged daughter is objectively wrong. NEXT.

Hi, did you miss this part?: "And then there are parts that are just really deeply sad, and warrant compassion and not mockery, a reminder that this relationship is clearly primarily about the absence for this woman of a real father—about what Tsoulis-Reay calls a 'primordial sense of having always belonged to the…

YES YES YES. Only real Shonda fans/stalkers know that.

BITCH BABIES!!!! But I would also like to point out that Cristina Yang, fictional feminist icon, coined that term in the Shondaverse.

Um, isn't Tyler Perry going to write this sequel? "Girl, I thought you were gone."

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

I actuality hoped something like this were to happen to Harry Potter. I just didn't like how the whole world revolved around him. I liked the theory where Neville was actually the chosen one since he also fits the prophecy and Dumbledore was playing the long con to keep the heat off Neville.

Childhood is insisting you are too grown up for a nap. Adulthood is wishing desperately that you could squeeze in a nap.

Get out.

Nope. This is how you do underwear ads: